A list of good things that have happened to cheer me up.
1. I've been invited to talk at the AIR open dialogues in Sheffield. A great opportunity. For me, words always flow better as written text, than when they come out of my mouth, but I'll give it a shot.
2. I've decided that my luxury item on my desert island would be a pair of robins, perfectly adapted to the climate, but outwardly identical to British robins. It's been worrying me for years that I couldn't think of a luxury that I would actually want.
3. I'm working on an artist's book to document the work produced during my ACE funded R&D year – working with a really good designer, Adrian Riley from Electric Angel
4. My secret about the cleaner is out in the open. phew.
5. I've decided to make more time for networking in West Yorkshire – we've lived here nearly a year, and I do really like it, but need to be more 'part of it'.
6. I'm going to Venice Bienale – partner bought flights as a surprise Valentine gift. Not bad eh?
7. the days are lighter, the sun shines a bit more now, which makes everything a bit more cheery.
I've got a terrible dirty secret and I need to confess. I've been paying a woman to clean my house. She's been doing it since November, but it just never seems the right time to mention it.
Then a friend said that she'd noticed I was talking about housework less in my blog and I knew I had to come clean (so to speak).
It's the most wonderful thing ever, I get genuinely excited about coming home to a clean house on a Monday. I make the whole family tidy up on a Sunday. It's no longer my burden and I feel liberated.
How I reconcile this with my feelings of guilt about paying another woman to clear up my sh*t is confusing. Like any number of guilty transactions (clothes from Asda, imported apples etc). And for that matter, why do I still see it as 'my' sh*t not 'ours'.
I've also (obviously) stopped adding to my jars of dirt and dust from the house, so that piece of work is on-hold until further notice. Which also makes me happy.
I've been delaying posting a blog until a disc of images of 'Chamber Maid' arrives in the post from Julia Gatie, photographer. I'm not patient enough though, so that will have to follow. I do want to try to articulate that piece on the blog at some point though.
In the meantime I am experiencing my first calm week for ages. No 'chamber maid', no house guests, no Creative Partnerships deadlines (I'm a freelance Creative Agent), no urgent need to do a food shop/ mouse-proof the kitchen/ go to the dentist…
Most of these tasks are behind me for the time being, so I can finally let it all sink in and relax.
Or, it turns out, I can spend 3 days solid catching up on book-keeping and emails. Now my neck and shoulders hurt, and I haven't even finished my books. Thinking about money has led me to reflect on recent developments and plan for the next phase – always striving to get the right financial/creative balance.
