I've had a bit of a pause for a week or two. Tidied the studio and stared at everything I've made recently in a blank, out of focus, starey sort of way. Got some books to read for research, but couldn't focus on that. Think I needed a break.
Anyway, I'm back at it now – had a long 'thinking in the bath' session last night – had to top up with hot water twice before I finished my think and it was still cold by the time I got out.
The result of the think is a big list of tasks to get stuck into. I've been commissioned to devise a new installation for a hotel room for Coastival in February 2008 – (www.coastival.com) and this is the start of that process.
First job – organise a site visit. Ooo I do love a list to follow – it's like a set of instructions and rules and represents security.
Thanks Rob for selecting my blog for 'bloggers choice'. It brightened me up at the end of a tiring week; I went to Scotland to give a talk at a conference for engage Scotland, in addition to all my open studios prep (updating portfolio, getting new business cards, revising cv, making the installation etc) Knackered today.
As for open studios – it was pretty good really. I wasn't as brave as I could've been in terms of approaching visitors, but I enjoyed talking to the ones that approached me.
Today I've spent a (perversely) therapeutic few hours sorting out paperwork, stripping beds, washing sheets and tidying the house. It gives me a sense of calm and order after last week.
Preview of Open Studios at Batesmill tomorrow and things are not going to plan. I made a spontaneous decision (a rare and usually disastrous thing in my world) to take part – and now of course I'm doubting my wisdom!
I will show a work in progress, an early manifestation of a bigger idea. I am perfectly happy with the notion that open studios can be about revealing a process rather than exhibiting a complete body of work. I am happy that the piece I am showing is (just about) ready for a public outing… not fully resolved, but enough successful elements to carry it. I'm even looking forward to talking to people about it. But.
Now I am prickled by the anticipation of visitors seeing it as a finished work, and making judgements. I'm taking a real risk showing something that I'm not yet entirely happy with – it's easy to start feeling like a blagger in that situation.
I confuse myself sometimes – I knew that this was one of the hazards of taking part, and decided that I was happy to deal with that, as the benefits of bonding with other resident artists and becoming part of the local scene outweighed the negative. Now I'm not so sure.
I don't know if I 'get' Open Studios. What's it for? Is it just for makers to sell their wares? Have I dropped a clanger? too late now. off to the studio to get it sorted. Nothing like a deadline to neutralise all your creative intution, leaving room for you to make panic decisions and head for the red wine. Wahoo!
for some reason I am shivering in my kitchen instead of going to my warm studio to research feminist art centres/exhibitions/symposiums. There seems to be loads going on in Canada and the states so I think I need to plan a trip for 2009. All suggestions welcome!
I love it when people comment on my blog! it cheers me up to think that people are interested enough to read it. (Thanks Jane – it helps to feel a bit of solidarity out there!)
I'm generally more upbeat at the moment because I have a bit more time to think about my work and feel on top of things.
I'm returning to the idea that the different roles I play as mother and artist, are in themselves an artwork. I'm thinking about all my creative activities (getting into character for the school playground conversations, recreating an organised home against the tide of mess, then shedding perceived social constructs for the studio, stripping back to the essentials – all entrenched in ritual and performative elements). In terms of relational practice I am wondering how I could document these actions better to construct an artwork.
I'm not sure where these thoughts will lead (probably back in on themselves for a while) but at least I'm Interested.
I really wish I could have some kind of tutorial with someone who knows lots of stuff. I never fully appreciated the value of that properly when I was at art college.
