Vertigo
Lots of things have been happening… here's the context to the story.
We are moving from Scarborough to West Yorkshire (hopefully to a village called Honley, near Huddersfield, if we ever find a decent house to rent). This is because my partner's got a job in Dewsbury. I don't know anyone there so I am quite scared and excited.
My landlady wants me to organise appointments for estate agents, HIP assessors etc. She lives in France and wants to sell the house. I wish I hadn't been so generous in the amount of notice I gave her about our move. She could still be blissfully unaware, and I could stay submerged in the never ending tide of mess and chaos in the house.
My partner is in Iceland for a week and I have just spend 2 days completely housebound with my youngest daughter – she's had a stomach bug. It's made me feel quite shut down – too much time inside my own head, unable to do anything with any of my thoughts. If I get up to get something from the other side of the room, she jumps up and clings on to me, 24hours a day. I've had to cancel a meeting at Scarborough Art Gallery, after spending every spare minute preparing images and notes to show them. I've also missed the Lonely Arts Lunch – a rare opportunity to get together with other isolated creatives in the Borough.
Young Daughter (6) said 'mum, I've got a feeling and I don't know what it's for, and I don't know where the feeling is.' I couldn't put it better myself. She's getting better now; 'it's like I've jumped on 500 trampolines straight after dinner'.
I'm perpetually worried about money, and rent is more expensive in West Yorkshire. As a result I've taken on lots of work, and now it's all whirling round my head all the time. I have freelance a contract with Creative Partnerships Hull, as a Creative Agent, brokering relationships between 4 schools and various creative practitioners (artists). I've just taken on a contract with engage co-ordinating the final stages of their envision programme – it's hard picking up someone elses job half way through, but it's really interesting work. I teach short courses, 'Community Art Skills' and 'Unlock your Creativity' for University of Hull. It doesn't sound much when you see it written like that, but it feels like a lot.
I've been diagnosed with vertigo! I think it sounds almost exotic, so maybe I can sort of get to like it. I keep feeling all swimmy and wonky. Apparently it can be triggered by a virus or by stress. Apparently it should go away within six weeks.
Finally – wait for it – this is the biggee… I've just heard about my ACE bid for £10,400 for professional development I got the money – WAHOO! What a fantastic endorsement of my work, my ideas. It's all worthwhile.
So – that's the context.
