Here are some of the thoughts that drift through my mind when I am working on ‘Left Behind’… (it’s difficult to remember many of my thoughts, like when you wake from a dream and it dissolves before you grasp it, but I see this as a sign that I have let go of my logical thought processes, and I welcome that) –
the debris that gets left behind by our activities (dust, stains, dirt) – aspirations and daydreams as we wash the dirt and sweat, out of our clothes, making them anonymous and empty again – longing – wiping surfaces, tears, bottoms – creating order out of chaos, totally fulfilled – trapped in a loop of repetitive activity, feeling angry resentful and bitter – clean, scrub, fret about stains, worry what judgements others will make – houseproud means wholesome – cleaning is pointless circular – trying to remove evidence – trying to reach the other side– to feel in control – linked to generations of housewives who clear it all up – invisible workforce of cleaners who remove all traces of our time in our offices, on trains and buses, in cafes and restaurants, at cinemas – get rid of anything that reveals vulnerability – messy drippy tears, snot bubbles, leaky bladders, crumbs – don’t make a fuss – wash your face you’ll feel better – if you pretend you are ok, you are ok.
