I'm finding it hard to settle in to my new life in West Yorkshire. It felt like a holiday for ages, now the reality has hit and I feel a bit lonely. I think it's a delayed reaction, after keeping it together while the daughters got settled. I'm amazed how much I am defined by my friends, and their knowledge and affirmation of who I am. I know how to act with them, and they know how to respond to me, so everything is more solid with them. Now I feel like I'm losing my edges a bit, retreating inwards.
So it's all the more poignant to be spending the week making final preparations to instal 'Left Behind' at Scarborough Art Gallery on Thursday… setting up a projected image of myself doing slightly peculiar things in the corner of a gallery where I used to spend a lot of time in my old life. I started making this work before I knew we were moving – so now there is a new layer of meaning to this ghost-like mischievous character flickering in the corner of the gallery.
I'm glad she became a mischievous character, rather than a defeated one (which is how she started out). Just hope it all looks the way I imagined it when I get it all in the gallery, and I can cope with the nerves until after the preview.
ps. unison strike clashes with exhibition installation day, and partner is on an overnight work thing, so daughters have to come to Scarb too. They think the video projection is embarassing and galleries boring. Ace.
