Gifts and Occupations – August 2009 Residency

I’m back in the countryside. Last night i walked to my parents house from the local pub, a journey of about 10 minutes along a dirt track lane, sheltered by huge trees, and, with the distinct lack of a moon, no lighting whatsoever. Its one on my most favorite walks. Especially when its so dark you may as well have your eyes closed. Its a scary but quite liberating feeling navigating purely by instinct and what you feel beneath your feet. I have been walking that track for 14 years – not so much in the last 5, but nevertheless it still feels very familiar, and i have only once ended up in the hedge (due to a slightly longer session in the pub than usual). When its that dark the atmosphere is thick – like a black fog all around you. Your heart beats like hell and it feels wonderful.

The other walk i love is when its been raining, and the lane fills with water, leaving a narrow path down the middle that is slightly raised. The puddles down this lane seem to be better than most, and it really does feel like there is another world within them, like through the looking glass. When i was little i was really quite scared of falling off the path and plummetting into this upsidedown universe. When the jump was finally made, the alternate world was forgotton in the pleasures of kicking up the water and drenching oneself.

But back to work. Ive been think about how to encorporate the whispering effect that i want within my paper paracites… I want a really simple circuit that can just be connected to a cd player and turned on and off easily in my absense. I have a meeting with the principle on wednesday to talk about the final location and timing of the piece, so cant finalise anything until then. So for now i will be forlding paper and cross stitching….!

I’m hoping to get into the nursery on monday to take recordings of the children at play for the piece. My consent letter was sent to the parents this week, and i’ve already had a call from one mother, agreeing to the use of her son’s “sound” – its encouraging to hear people are intereted in the project, but i also feel a certain amount of pressure to deliver the interesting piece at the end! Not only self-indulgence any more…

Despite the satisfaction i feel for finally getting into some making again – i must say i’m suffering slightly – i really have done some hard core cross stitch today… as a result my fingers resemble pin cusions and my eyes are a little fuzzy…

Last night i treated myself to a few hours of paper folding – it really is great to get started but i think the next few weeks will certainly be a challenge – but that was what i was after so no complaints. I have found that i can actually get 3 tiles from each page, which means a potential 832 pieces within the installation. Last night i finished 42. Only 790 to go…

Doing these repetitive occupations has given me the chance to catch up on the news – radio 4 has been on all day and i feel rather educated on topics such as the osprey population and how to claim lost premium bonds. So Froebels justification that these tasks were the path to knowlege are proving true so far – although i’m not sure he would have agreed on my methods. I chose cross stitch rather than the geometric embroidery he encouraged as i felt it was something he was fighting against in Victorian society – the idea that children and women should be kept quiet and busy with this kind of occupation. In fact, needlework was one of the main parts of female education – even in my own primary school, rather than more intellectual subjects. By the 19th century, samplers were well established as vehicles for religious instruction, geography, English and mathematics. School girls produced needlework exercises of almanacs, mathematical tables and maps, as well as numbers and letters. Froebel hated this kind of education – copying facts from books and repeating dictated passages. His type of embroidery was far more expressive and free. I hope to be exploring this contrast within the pieces.

Last night i had a beautiful walk through the campus. It was just before midnight, and i had been out for dinner, i’ve got accommodation on campus here but its the first time i’d wandered around after dark. I couldnt believe how many stars were visible so close to london – and the atmosphere of the place was totally changed. A country girl, i have always loved night time walks, and passing the grand Grove House with its kept gardens was a real treat.

Had a great chat with Jo, the subject leader here, and talked her through my ideas (too many, as usual…). I’ve weeded out the boring ones, the over ambitious ones, and decided to focus on a main installation piece, as well as a couple of 2D studies – some pieces to fill the corridor leading to the department. Another piece we both thought could work really well may have to be scapped as i cant find quite the right location for it… i need a really high ceiling and they seem to be lacking around the college. Next step is to get clearance about the installation piece from the principle, but i have a backup plan if not.

My focus with these pieces will be paper folding and embroidery. I’ve just calculated thati should be able to get 555 tiles – this morning i plan to test how long that will take. I’m curious to see how i will cope with such a large amount of repetitive manipulation… the embroidered pieces may function to keep me sane when i just cant look at another piece of paper. This blog will help too i think…. i’ll be recording the whole process…!

Spent all evening, and all of this morning drawing lines. I am now certain that i have a highly addictive personality. Froebels occupations are said to be activities that have sense, purpose and meaning to the child, and involve joy, wonder, concentration, unity and satisfaction. I certainly agree with the concentration and satisfaction part, starngely enough…

The focus of my attentions has been the reproduction of some really interesting diagrams i found in a picture of Pestalozzis classroom. Pestalozzi was a pioneering teacher from whom Froebel took much inspiration. The diagrams seem to look at geometry, mulipication, division of space and alignment within an area. I cant find any other records of them on the internet, or in any other book.

This afternoon i’m heading into town to get some materials and get cracking with some more making. Embroidery will be my focus for a day or two i think… it seems to encompas the era, concentration, and delicacy, that i’ve found so appealing.

I’m back at the college, and upon walking into the studio have been treated to a fantastic performance by the overhead flourescent lights… its still tinkling away now, as i type. I wish i’d recorded it in some way, but i feel that by the time you’ve rushed to set up a camera or recorder, you’ve missed out on experiencing it yourself.

So i’m sat here reunited with my laptop, listening to the fluttering jingle above me, and pattering away on the shiny white keyboard (i spilt tea on the last one which is why i had to send it off for repair).

Returning to the college after a weekend away, i am far more aware of the emptiness of the place. I almost feel like an intruder, like its not my place and i’m tresspassing, careful not to make too many sudden movements incase someone is alerted to my presence. Of course i’ve done the usual curious investigations, opening cupboards and making my mark on the white board, and although it has felt more safe as the week went on, i feel as thought there is something missing. One comment that a staff member made to me before the college closed down for the summer was how their department and work focused so much on children, yet their presence was distinctly missed. Althought the studio is far from being a kindergarten, there are so many elements within it that are most likely found within one. The smell of poster paint, the clearly labeled plastic drawers, primary coloured furniture, pipe cleaners and pva gluepots…

Now theres not even any students here, let alone children, and i cant help but think how nice it would have been to experienced the college buzzing with life. But then this is probably quite a priviliged position to be in – enjoying such a beautiful campus and having it almost to myself.

Theres a nursery on campus and i’m trying to get in to take some sound recordings… i have a few pieces that i’d love to do but not sure about time and availablility of equipment with only 3 weeks left. I’m definately looking to include a sound element witin the work.

Whatever i create here will not only be influenced by the research i’ve been doing into Froebel, but also on my sudden solitude. Last week, without any form of entertainment, i obsessively folded paper – a Froebel ‘occupation’. The meditative and mudane nature of it was actually rather satisfying, and certainly killed time. The challenge in folding the top layers of the same folded form over and over, to create differnet aesthetics was actually quite challenging and gave me time to think. It was the first time i understood Froebels idea that such activities could show one ‘unity and diversity’, a ‘sense of time’ and provide ‘self-awareness’.