now the dissertation has been handed over it feels a bit strange. it has been with me since the summer, following me around, nagging me gently, requiring attention every-now-and-then. now its gone. i miss it. a bit.
slowly starting to think about the actual degree show now. what is it supposed to be? the next piece of work? an extra special one? although it is v.different to showing in a convenor or gallery setting, it has to sit within the work of a hundred others, and hopefully not drown. in the end it is a piece of work that has to be marked, it is a university course after all. but it is easy to forget that most of the time, most of the time it feels like a great opportunity to 'make' and 'talk', the box ticking does not matter so much. to me.
the dissertation monster has gone away.
hoorah.
the last post was a while ago. the show at corsica studios went well in the end. i got some good feedback and it was really helpful to just stand and watch how people interacted with the piece without them know it was mine and that i was observing them.
radio 3 came and interviewed some of us at goldsmiths (and another college, which i cant remember) about art education. it is supposed to be going out on the 11th jan at 9ish, i think. it may be interesting to listen to? ive got a few days to work out where radio 3 is on the dial.
cor, dissertations are hard work. i think its the bibliography thats <Pits, The [italics]available from>somewhere in my bookmark folder (i hope): the little ol' footnote comes a close 2nd. nearly over now tho, light at end of tunnel etc. it will be good to concentrate on making again. ive also found that i keep distracting myself from reading/writing by popping to the kitchen to make tea/sandwich and grab a slice of christmas cake, so i will be glad to start running around like a headless chicken again.
two weeks without internet connection is sort of a struggle. the thought that someone might be wanting to contact you or replying to an email sent is frustrating until you realize that nobody is.
since i last blogged i have applied for an ma, making the decision and putting together the required bumph took a while but i feel better having done it.
ive also done a tour of chelsea for the foundation course, with my eldest. its a strange thing, especially as it was not that long ago since i was doing it – mine was at the wonderful (concrete) world of croydon college.
ive got some work in a show, OFF MODERN at corsica studios tomorrow (11th 9-3am) so ive been re-editing a film that i thought was ok til i checked it today. one of the projectors i am using gave up whilst testing too so ive had to ask a favour to get me unstuck. everything always seems a bit last minute. at least the plinths are dry.
i woke with a handful of beans and hoped they would last for most of the day.
it didnt start too well tho 30mins spent on the train going nowhere, made me 5mins late for a tutorial. it turned out to be v.productive and i got lots of encouraging feedback. it is the third tutorial this year and they seem to be completely different from the previous years. i can't work out why, i think it may be because i am surer of my work and thoughts, so tutorials are more of a two-way discussion about my work rather than one articulate person talking to a churned up, note taking defender of heartfelt output. yes, thats it ive become more articulate.
with my beans still intact i went to town. i returned to the Lucian Freud: Early Works 1940-1958 exhibition at hazlitt holland and hibbert in bury st. (see oct10th's post for my 1st visit). i had an urge to write down what i was seeing, sometimes i find words on paper help to clarify the stuff floating around in my little'ol head. two works stood out for me, Loch Ness from Drummnadrochit, 1943, and Self Portarit, 1956. the pen lines in Loch Ness form the landscape, looking closer there are characters to his forms, boulders have faces, i saw a moomin in a tree and a hippo in the clouds, just as i do when looking at the real. the constant line of the pen does not get smaller or lighter, perspective is dictated by the trees getting smaller. the line remains constant. it was this line work that lead me into the later Self Portrait. white is in the majority, soft grey outlines the figure whilst the brushwork appears thin and dry in its application. he is not all there but he is coming… like a special effect he appears and we can see the missing, it is already formed in inside us. the brushwork gives the impression of intricate lines on the canvas, as if a one haired brush had left its trace. the hairs travelled together but not as a whole. they echo the pen, their direction gives the form but the pigment makes the flesh alive. the gallery blurb talks of an evolution of vision from "maximum observation"…"by staring at my subject matter and examining it closely" to the later work of 1954 when he wanted to "free myself from this way of working". well he may have changed his way of looking but the maximum observation still seems v.apparent to me.
i may return before the 12th dec to soak up some more before they are returned to their private places. he/they are there but they are going, soon.
beans carried on for the ra ma tour and a star to my secret squirrel project – will spill the beans after ive finished it just incase i get rumbled.
too many beans for one blog i reckon.
