i woke with a handful of beans and hoped they would last for most of the day.
it didnt start too well tho 30mins spent on the train going nowhere, made me 5mins late for a tutorial. it turned out to be v.productive and i got lots of encouraging feedback. it is the third tutorial this year and they seem to be completely different from the previous years. i can't work out why, i think it may be because i am surer of my work and thoughts, so tutorials are more of a two-way discussion about my work rather than one articulate person talking to a churned up, note taking defender of heartfelt output. yes, thats it ive become more articulate.
with my beans still intact i went to town. i returned to the Lucian Freud: Early Works 1940-1958 exhibition at hazlitt holland and hibbert in bury st. (see oct10th's post for my 1st visit). i had an urge to write down what i was seeing, sometimes i find words on paper help to clarify the stuff floating around in my little'ol head. two works stood out for me, Loch Ness from Drummnadrochit, 1943, and Self Portarit, 1956. the pen lines in Loch Ness form the landscape, looking closer there are characters to his forms, boulders have faces, i saw a moomin in a tree and a hippo in the clouds, just as i do when looking at the real. the constant line of the pen does not get smaller or lighter, perspective is dictated by the trees getting smaller. the line remains constant. it was this line work that lead me into the later Self Portrait. white is in the majority, soft grey outlines the figure whilst the brushwork appears thin and dry in its application. he is not all there but he is coming… like a special effect he appears and we can see the missing, it is already formed in inside us. the brushwork gives the impression of intricate lines on the canvas, as if a one haired brush had left its trace. the hairs travelled together but not as a whole. they echo the pen, their direction gives the form but the pigment makes the flesh alive. the gallery blurb talks of an evolution of vision from "maximum observation"…"by staring at my subject matter and examining it closely" to the later work of 1954 when he wanted to "free myself from this way of working". well he may have changed his way of looking but the maximum observation still seems v.apparent to me.
i may return before the 12th dec to soak up some more before they are returned to their private places. he/they are there but they are going, soon.
beans carried on for the ra ma tour and a star to my secret squirrel project – will spill the beans after ive finished it just incase i get rumbled.
too many beans for one blog i reckon.
