I’m fascinated and somewhat infuriated by this article in the Guardian. An author who calls himself an ‘academic’ writing under a pseudonym (irritating in itself) has railed against internet dating, arguing that it is turning falling in love into a process of calculation.
The implication seems to be that technology instrumentalises the process of falling in love. I’ve actually posted a comment which counters this by suggesting that love and sexuality were instrumentalised by the media well before the invention of the internet. I’m imagining that I will be drowned out by the male academic infighting that seems to be the order of the day. None the less here is what I wrote:
This article is not about internet dating, its about how the media impacts on society and the choices that people make. Global capitalism and the language of advertising do encourage homogenisation and create rigid stereotypes about what individuals should expect to find attractive. But love became a sale-able commodity way before the internet was invented: on TV, in the press and in bars where people go to pick up easy sex. The net is just another tool for making money out of the human desire to be loved.
While McLuhan may have been been on to something when he said that ‘the medium is the message,’ I don’t think he was asking us to consider each medium individually, but to think more holistically about the entire spectrum of communication. To blame the commodification of love on the internet suggests ignorance of the wider society we live in.
