if you’ve dived into any previous posts of mine, you’ll already be aware that at times i struggle to put into words what i’ve been feeling of late at the time of writing. usually in this situation my writing becomes very self derisery and ends in a cul de sac.
today i’m reflecting upon how this week my overall wellbeing has gone from happy and optimistic to sadder and inward thinking. a kin to starting a drum solo, getting part way in and stopping because the inspiration or drive to hit the next symbol or drum suddenly leaves oneself. an alternative view is that the kit was being hit so hard the sticks have either broken of been dropped.
in reflecting i see that part of this sudden stoppage is caused by a feeling of not doing what i want to do. for example wanting to process the images from the monday night photography session and getting them online and not yet having starting that.
being told of a residency that i might apply for because of the little drawings i make while travelling on buses. the thought of this going from wow “that sounds a bit of fun” to “why would i want to spend 23 days in a cabin on a merchant ship?”
my partner told me about the undersea art award. i found this video of a past recipient talking about the opportunity rather inspiring.
the midweek forest school afterschool club was really enjoyable. i’ve completed the 6 sessions necessary for the portfolio so this week i was much more relaxed. the children were way less hyped up as christmas has now past.
i’ve had two ideas this week that might well need to be followed up. the first was as a result of looking through a box of photograghs i have in the cabin. in the box was a bag of photos and papers from my teenage years. i have alot of memory triggers from that time including books from productions at the wolsey youth theatre, the national youth theatre and lamda. for some time i’ve mused about what to do with them all. i think i want to return them to the respective bodies and have thought about this for sometime. what has been holding me back is making something that connects me now to what i have before i return it to it’s origin. i’ve been making a kind of digital archive repository as way of documenting how i view my formative years, years on and from a different perspective.
that archive generation has been slow.
this week i made a connection to the artists access to art college programme, of which i was a participating artist in 11/12. that programme invites applications later in the year to work in a university with access to their technical areas. this week i started to believe in re-applying to the programme to work in a university with the material i have from my past with a view to re-appropriate the stuff as images, make an exhibition and then return the source material to the bodies of people where i made the stuff originally. as i put my idea together i plan to inform the bodies of what my thinking is and how they are a part of it.
my second inspiration is for a short video work.
for sometime now i’ve been researching the household use of gas and electricity. part of this research has been to take specific notice of duration of showers. the electric shower being the largest elcetrical appliance in the house.
my research is aided by a digital smart meter. the electrical usage is relayed in real time. we can see that the shower uses 60 pence per hour of electricity. a very small amount of money.
this week i made a connection to how this small amount of money stacks up when the shower is used for 20+ minutes 3 or 4 times a week by just one member of the family of 5.
as i reach the near end of this post i start to feel happy and optimistic like i did at the beginning of the week. a week that also sees the bdo world dart championship taking place and the home of world darts … the lakeside ! this week i have indulged myself in watching as much of the darting action as i can squeeze into my day.
time now to watch more darts and plan when i’m going to do the things i want to do.
other darting competitions are available
