In between space

I have been looking at the Artist’s Livelihood Survey trying to work out how to fill it out in a way that reflects my working life. This got me thinking about the what happened to the project that this blog was written about. Reading the last few posts they reflect my excitement with gaining support from organisations like Stour Valley Arts and Dover Arts Development towards some work that really interested me. One of my comments was along the lines of…’its all getting a bit real!’ I was just going to submit my application for an Arts Council Grant. And then nothing. So what happened?

I find it difficult sometimes working out the parameters of a blog. What is professional and what is personal? What should be included and what left out? Anyway to talk about what happened to my project I will have to write about that blurry bit where the personal and professional overlap.

Towards the end of 2012 my husband and I were getting worried about his parents. His father had just had a fall and broken his hip. Clearly they were going to need a bit of short-term help until things were back to normal. They lived near us and we saw them quite frequently. Only once we started helping out we discovered that it wasn’t going to be that simple. Mike’s dad had we found out been doing everything in their household. He had essentially been his wife’s carer over the last few years so now they both needed help.

I would like to say here that at this point they got fantastic help from the Local Authority and the NHS in a way that probably isn’t available now. But we realised that it wasn’t just grab rails and meals on wheels that they needed. What would actually make the difference would be time, company and conversation. We had to make some big decisions especially as they didn’t want to leave their home. There were a whole lot of things we had to balance up. My work, Mike’s work, our kids and money constraints. It probably won’t be too controversial or surprising to say that my work (which I loved) was often stressful, irregular and didn’t pay well enough to have much room for manoeuver. During the time developing or carrying out projects I was often a drain on our resources rather than an asset. Mike often had to cover the bills anyway. We decided that I would essentially work (even more) part-time and would cut out speculative work (like applying for Arts Council Grants) and travelling. So no more applications for residencies or even for teaching or workshops if they weren’t nearby. And I would put the time into being with our older family. I realise that I am incredibly lucky to have the opportunity to make that decision.

Three years down the line, Mike’s dad is 92 and is doing well. My mum-in-law became more frail and died a couple of years ago. I am so pleased that I had the opportunity to spend proper time with her. In the meanwhile my mum (who is much younger) became unwell and is now going blind. Mike and I spend a lot of time with them, doing shopping, fixing things  and talking. For my mum we are her only company during the week. This is not to complain. I feel so privileged to be able to do this. In many ways it reminds me of the time I spent with our children when they were young before school gave me a working day. However it has impinged a huge amount on (mainly my) work. Which is why I find myself sitting at the computer trying to fill out the Livelihood Survey and thinking that different questions need to be asked and more options available to describe what must be a very familiar work / life pattern. It makes me think that the problems I find with work and livelihood aren’t just ones that an artist would share or just for relatively low earners or people with elderly relatives but all sorts of people. It is all about how we value care and family.

As an afternote because I realise I haven’t talked about it at all…I have been able to make work over the last few years. Just more slowly.

Graphite, charcoal, indian ink and ashes

Lots of discussions and visits have taken place since my last post. The landscape and materials project for next year is taking form. I have spent quite a bit of my time researching the particular materials of each of the stopping points on my proposed journey which has made it difficult to ignore when I get into my studio. Rather than preempting the work and practical research that I want to form the focus of the 2013 project, I have been journeying around my studio (not hard as it is quite small!) working with the ordinary materials that probably everyone has in their studios. Taking a long and slow look at the ordinary things has been very interesting especially when I use them in the same way as I do found materials in the landscape. So instead of silt, chalk, mud and pigments from the soil and plants, I have been working casting linen pulp paper with graphite and charcoal, indian ink and ashes. I really think these are the most beautiful materials particularly when used as ‘stuff’ rather than as a means of depicting something else. Although of course things always do end up depicting something else in a way.

Discussions and visits

It is going to be a very busy week. Around work and the usual routine I’m also following all sorts of leads hoping to find more points to stop off on my papermaking journey across the Downs and back home again next year. It is all so encouraging and interesting, talking to people about the proposed project; it could be a project in itself. People are so helpful; I’ve had so many suggestions and or introductions to people who might be interested or might be able to give some vital information. It has been wonderful. On Thursday I’m taking up Clare Smith’s invitation to come over and chat to her about the project. She’ll be in Folkstone at the Space Gallery where her exhibition ‘In the making’ is on and I am very much looking forward to meeting her and seeing her work. It is always good to meet a fellow a-n blogger in reality rather than just the virtual world.

In my last post I wrote a bit about a project that I’m putting together in which I would travel across the North Downs from Surrey to Kent, round the coast past Dover to Brighton and back to Surrey again. Enroute I would talk to people, make things, make things with people, and respond to the landscape and the materials of the landscape. I was about to have a few meetings to gather support and to talk to people to find particular places to stop off and make work and run workshops.

I have been completely bowled over by the way that people have responded to my slightly hesitant proposals. It’s been like running at a door to break it open and finding it’s unlocked. People have been so supportive and positive both here on the a-n blogs (thanks so much for your comments) and in the outside world. I’m not really able to wrte too much about it until things are more concrete but I have been offered the opportunity to work at some wonderful places with some wonderful people and I am so excited.

It’s all getting a bit real!

More stuff..

Stuff. n, Material, substance or things of uncertain kind or not needing to be particularized or of inferior quality….

A bit about my preoccupation with stuff…

I am very interested in materiality and process in response to place. I love working with the materials of particular settings and landscapes, the chalk and clay and silt and the traces that they leave.

Much of my work involves papermaking. I love the contradictory nature of working with a fragile, ephemeral material in difficult, dirty surroundings at the mercy of the weather. Working in response to specific places has become increasingly important to me; and all my work; whether employing papermaking or not, involves getting traces from particular spaces or landscapes. These traces have included in previous projects, earth, volcanic ash deposits, water from the Medway, impressions and castings, photographs and stories.

I am in the process of developing a research project in which I would visit and investigate a range of different places in contrasting landscapes across South East England. I have a wish-list of places and landscapes to visit, which would be linked by the journey from one to the other. The journey would follow a roughly circular path starting and ending in the woods and commons of Elmbridge in Surrey, taking in a route across the North Downs, the Weald in Kent, onwards to the Medway and round down the South Coast until Brighton and back again up to Surrey. At each place I would make a small piece of work collecting traces and impressions and making use of pigments found in the landscape (chalk, charcoal, clay, and natural dyes etc) and I would also collect materials and impressions which would form the basis of larger works to be made during the course of the project. I really like to involve people in making work in response to the colours and textures of the natural environment and to build this engagement into the heart of the project. I love working with people and enjoy the reciprocal give-and-take nature of sharing skills, stories and expertise.

Right now I’m talking to people to find places to stop off and make work and run workshops.