While very nearly falling off the edge of the planet, I am delighted to report that as of 4pm yesterday I am officially
PAID PROJECT FREE!!!
HURRAH!!! (or is it BOO?!)
Whilst I have enjoyed an sudden and incredibly intensive burst of activity, with actual real life MONEY attached to it, I have badly neglected everything else in my life. I have never had so many all encompassing timeconsuming work heavy jobs to do. Too many for it actually to be healthy.
However I have come to a stage of intense realisation within this frenzy: I really am my own worst enemy. Where there is a simple job I force myself to make it a million and one times more complicated and seem to be unable to stop myself.
Why do something that can take ten minutes when you could do it in 3 (or more) days?
Why pick the easy option when the impossible is just SO much more enticing?
Looking back, I realise that this is not a new way of being, but one that I have been conditioned to as I have grown up. There are several likely sources of this problem…. having a father who daily worked into the night finishing graphics projects and regularly pulling ‘all nighters’ how could I grow up thinking that art meant anything other than a 30 hour day? Doing a degree in Embroidery but wanting to make 3D automated work – yeah that’s sensible. Throw in some perverse desire to make EVERYTHING by hand, myself, with no help.
When I was 12 I wanted to be an ice sculptor – my art teacher told me I should start with clay. But why would you ever want to do that?
