The whole issue of ageing and the passing of time is pertinent to the sorting process. There’s nothing like opening up a box full of vintage Oor Wullie and Schoolgirl annuals, or a suitcase full of retro hats and clothing, to jolt your memory, transport you right back in time and evoke the sweet memories of youth.
It’s over 20 years, maybe more, since I’ve worn any of these carefully preserved items of clothing and it’s made me acutely aware of the many issues around ageing. ‘Mutton dressed as lamb‘ is a phrase that’s sprung to mind more than once as I’ve looked lovingly at various pairs of shoes, hats and dresses, made of the most exquisite fabrics, and resigned myself to the fact that, never mind too big, I am also now too old to wear them.
Consequently, I’ve shifted from feeling I could never part with these unique, one-of-a-kind garments, to accepting that I could. I won’t actually ever wear them again and the time has come to move them on – for the next generation. Timing is everything – I’m ready and it feels okay – a relief, in fact, to let go.
My sister’s attic has now been totally emptied and the one hundred or so bags that were filled with pre-sorted items of clothing and accessories have been condensed to around thirty. I have been selective and picked out only the best quality items of clothing, hats, shoes and handbags left over and stored since the days when I sold vintage clothing to supplement my income.
There are both negative and positive aspects to having collected what I have over the years – on the one hand, feeling dragged down by the sheer volume of it all – on the other, experiencing moments of pure joy when I rediscover things that frankly, just seem irreplaceable.
What to do with them has been the big question; a lot has been packed off to various friends, family members and charity shops and a lot more is being held in reserve for a fundraising day I’m holding in May.
And of course, a proportion of it is being kept as raw materal for my creative practice – the art I’m currently making, based around objects and their associative, autobiographical narratives and the art that I will almost certainly make in the future.
I struggle still with the desire to keep everything – it all has the potential to my mind to ‘come in handy’ one day. But I’m increasingly finding myself with the ability to be more ruthless – and accepting that what can’t be sold, donated or given away, simply has to go. Despite all my best efforts to unite everything I own and have all my possessions together in one space, I’m starting to accept that it might not be possible. I can’t underestimate the sheer volume of stuff I’ve accumulated over the years. There simply isn’t enough room to keep everything.
