A few weeks have passed now since completing the making of ‘I Always Wanted To Be …’ I became totally engrossed in the film making process and it’s taken me a while to stop feeling completely consumed with thoughts of ballerinas and dance.
Found vintage image
I’m still not sure what to do with the film or how best to show it to an audience, but I don’t feel under any particular pressure to get it ‘out there’ just yet. Bearing in mind that film making was a completely new experience for me and I’ve had (and still have) a lot to digest and process, the timing for making it public feels important. So, it’s parked for now, waiting for when it feels right to launch it.
In the meantime, as so often happens, working on one thing has led to another; I’ve been thinking a lot about sound and levels of hearing – specifically, my own and the struggle I sometimes had with hearing in the final editing process – especially the sound edit. I’ve been thinking about how much my deafness might have impacted on my decision making and general directing of the film. Thoughts around this, in turn, led me to seek out a file that I knew I had stored away somewhere.
Found vintage image
The file is marked simply ‘DEAF’ and in it are various cuttings and images that I’ve collected over the years, relating to deafness, hearing, sign language, communication, etc. It’s fascinating to see how the images relate to each other, however arbitrarily. I also came across a plastic model of the interior of an ear – it’s always exciting to unearth these forgotten ‘treasures.’ Whether or not something comes out of this recent refind remains to be seen, but my focus in the studio today has been on sorting and laying out the raw materials I already have to hand.
