‘A series of events that have led you to feel like this’
Portsmouth 24th March
Been so busy on this project this week – left to the last minute
tidying day have to get the studio presentable for visitors – open studio and book launch this afternoon – end up hiding materials under black cloths – studio is a ‘non digital pencil space’ – ideas – reworkings and quiet – radio allowed not computer – I do all the digital at the University or on the move.
hide in studio 21
precious
pencils
with stones
and paper
As the torn plastic at the sash window moves in the draft from a reasonably wide crack – i have time to sit and list – we are waiting for the first visitor to make their way to the rear of the old converted church.
anxious at others entering my space but accepted as part of the rules.
I list the improbability and connections leading to this project for the 896th time. Was this a series of accidents – a series of others mistakes or a series of planned opportunity? With the prospect of a book to tell the ‘aspergers’ story in hand I need to get it right. I trace and connect and refine the patterns – the what if I hadn’t done that – the slimness of last minute entry’s to competitive shows – the one word answer ‘yes’ that changes your life in a way unforeseen 20 seconds before hand.
paradox number 1 – do you plan in expert detail or accept on the spur of the moment and take the chance
paradox number 2 – weave in holistic life experiences as part of your landscape or separate and just draw what you see and depart from your landscape
Then visitors appear
An accompanied Mayor first – recognises me and the ‘Flags’ from the Torch Relay a summer and winter ago. Followed by a steady stream on known and unknown – talking drawing
Some people are excited by the maps that fill my space – wall and shelf – one excited to distraction offers and argues persuasively to roll naked on them – filmed for a project grant – a polite nod and embarrassed smiles in return knowing it wasn’t a hollow offer.
The wet grey slate roof outside my window disappears into night and we close for the talks at the end of the evening. mixing with fellow studio holders I am asked about this blog. One almost apologetic states:
‘I love the blog Jon but I don’t understand a word of it’
I really like that and reassure them I am fine with that
and smile
Konfirmed
‘A serpentine’d reminder’
Portsmouth 22nd March
wake 4:46am
sleep
—————– hiatus———–
sleep
woken by seagulls tearing
i f
i
r e s h u t
m y
e y e s
i a m s i t i n g
o n t h e l i z a r d
this moment will last me the day making in studio
without opening the window
—————– hiatus———–
‘g r a y’
Portsmouth March 22nd
word list number 1
intermediate
ashes
goose
clematis
sandstone
unclear
decline
pigment
anonymous
depressed
matter
multiple
attribute
overcast
nondescript
tissue
dendrite
lead
type on piece of paper in any order
in grid three rows of six
join with pencil lines
in any way
or colour
and
Lifts, numb hands and splinters part 2
Portsmouth March 21st
we start at 11.02am
we finish at 11.43am
images flicker into life
sound scanned
interruptions in first run
Fielding and fencing word and question
lights dim
louder rerun
immerse observations
as mamba eyed wire
wriggles into view
hexagonal costs
in nature
found
soon
we leave
to find relief
in warm teas
unpicking
the moments
a situation
became real
not confined in
grey matters
or pencil line
on grey
paper
we
return
dis-articulation
each component
a role reversal for
2 days assembly
components
stacked
for big
times
we share
a short walk
omelette’s beckon
ham vs mushroom
declaring
I am no longer scared
by wonders and glory
I will talk to
anyone
pepper
packet
hidden
the eye of the storm
is
observed
against my
blue sky learning
complete with
hair grips
on tiled
floor
to train
while the rain
continues to speak
today was a good day
today was a good day
today was a good day
today was a good day
today was a good day
was a good day
in more ways
than one
8.02 I write a hastily remembered journey list lost at 8:42 and rewritten 20 minutes later
1. brain conversation plus rain consultations with smile at leaving
2. unsteering unicyclist ardently passes to close for comfort
3. dark leather wind flaps over untied shoe laces 20 paces in-front
4. miniature continental drift proved in grey pavement observed rifts
5. hastily move to one side as ‘scary eyed’ girl passes to the right in cycle lane
6. blue topped lunchbox destroyed with content strewn across roundabout road
7. red light observation over bridge uncrossed by distracting conversation
8. relief of familiar turning – unlocking with brass keyed home to food motivated welcome
t
o
d
a
y
w
as a good day
Lifts numb hands and splinters, part 1
Portsmouth March 21st
I woke yesterday at 6:16am – systemise this with more times – change?
I Woke today at 4:37am – seems the hoped for change seems unable to happen
yet
yet
yet
yet
today
today is
national Poetry day
today is
pre-show showing dayat 11am
after the last 2 days of thinking and building
i
am
p
i
c
k ing
o
u
t
s
p
l
i
n
t
e
r
s
of white wood
I
am
e
h
a
u
s
t
e
d
10:01am I write an anxiousness list
1. Early morning trains rumble workwards
2. bathing with tea and toast
3. breathing fire: a cold walk in
4: lead delivery and replacement in grey
5. noise elimination team with yellow ladder ply cut off trade
6. the writing on the wall miraculously appears by email
7. smile at news the cat fell in the bath and spoke for the first time arrives over 3G
8. 2 bananas taken for a walk and consumed for neuralconstitution
waiting
waiting
w a i t i n g
