Konfirmation systemizing: Revaluing Autistic Thinking – Autism Research Centre residency

You ensure that everyone is decent then you wake to find evil in your midst

Portsmouth 30th May

todays difficulty

sit

despite

head held

within black-hole

gravity pain drain

write

despite

appalling

spelling guessing

without check recognition

read

despite

underwater

movements

filling my screen

learn

balanced by positive press interview published this week

http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/life/fighting-fear-and…

My skin is the system boundary

Portsmouth 29th May

This week I am tired

I don’t know how to stop or switch off – unfortunately

I must be too tired as I just noticed I am making silly mistakes – evidently I was a Month ahead of myself in the postings yesterday – wrong month – unusual I am not checking detail but Not unusual as I miss-read things all the time.

Previewed some of the sound without visuals yesterday at a University event for the ‘Month of the brain’. It was interesting to see if the ‘soundwerk grey’ stood on its own 2 feet rather than being part of an interaction with image (thats how it will be shown on the 14th June at The Arts Catalyst)

It was this event ‘Whats the point of brain research’

http://www.eventbrite.co.uk/event/5998831667?utm_s…

where I was asked to preview the sound.

I burnt a trial CD of the one track and took my own sound system over to the Portsmouth Guildhall to set up – forgetting one lead which I had to go back for. Set up tested working pushed to one side so not to interfere with the main event. Ready for later.

I had signed up to attend as it looked to be a good opportunity to learn too. Sat – ready to take notes only distracted by the tea, scone and Cornish cream – tempting in the middle of the table (aspiehabit – I sat in same place as the other event I attended a few weeks before)

Debate passes quickly – too quickly – sought patterns – found patterns – connections – corroborations – metaphor

Played – listened to – tweeted about – questions too – explained residency principles – 99% very positive – i find that ‘she stands on her own’

Random list of words and phrases gathered and used in NSO (no specific order) I may make work from

Cerebrum

cogs and pegs

predetermined voting

modules in your brain

skin is the boundary

you cant see sarcasm on a cellular level

reductionism

window into human cognition

deficits that reside in the brain

neuromania

general system theory

epigenetics

environmental behaviour

intellectual land grab

connections

neuropolicing

Estrogen

contrasting positions

focus

poly-genetic

Impact statement

Portsmouth 27th May 2013

My Sun

Floods Through

Untainted

Leaf Embossed Glass

touching upon

Freshly Painted

Wild wood

Pinned Down

suitable

For Any Occasion

while i watch

Self Absorbed

within Water

waiting with

eyes closed

to see

further than

the seas edge

foam mana

as it falls

as dust

upon the floor

Evening and morning call

Portsmouth 28th May 2013

Darkness

now Follows

I can’t

see The

rain

Gathering

Malevolent

In lines

Above

the

Street

Readying

To Absorb

My Roof Nutrient

To Feed tainted Weeds

Fresh Rain

Releases

a Heavy heady

fruity Taste

Of Solid Earths

Natural

flown upon

My Tongue

stop

Breath In

breath in and

Steady myself

grounding

Thru rich flavours

that dance within my darkness

‘The fogs of snore’

Portsmouth 29th May

Been so busy making its been hard to find the time to sit and write about this. As someone with dyslexia I am often stopped by the ‘thought’of writing rather that the effort of doing so or working out what to write about – a bottleneck in my head

often too I am so tired out at the end of a day or when facing deadlines doing other stuff during the day – the discipline of starting with a retrospective post flies away before my hands settle on the substance to mold.

This is not an excuse just a firm reality. does it distract – yes, does it hold me back – yes to a degree – would I swap for anything including loosing that fear of writing?

no not at all

I believe I am whole.

So where am I at 16 days to go

This last week I have been sitting in the studio or the dining room table a flood of paperwork in front of me converting the words numbers and notes in-front of me into sequencer coding – then after a steep learning curve on some of the equipment entering 1200 notes by hand over the weekend – sore thumbs – playing them and sculpting the results – being filmed Monday experimenting – deadlines to get to the film maker Sunday 2nd – 4 more intensive recording – experimenting – learning days ahead.

Also I have fitted in a press interview at the studio – in-depth looking at aspergers and dyslexia affecting the artist process, REF meetings at the University but no time off – artist 247 and still just breathing.

still finding

Patterns

in the

mist