‘You thirteen second wonder’
Portsmouth: February 15th
Awake early
this time
no time
to ponder dreams
distracted by radio
news of large meteorite fall in Russia
up
our TV screen comes to life
contrails
flashes of intense light
What fascinates me are the films of the shadows moving across roads and junctions. – i am attracted to the pattern the repetition of many view points – filmed on dash board cameras designed for insurance claims – irony – leaving questions – so many questions – why the twin contrail when you look closely?
fallen
transitory
ephemeral
fleeting
Correlation: This and the impending passing of 2012 Da14 tonight remind me of Cheltenham science festival in 2011 where I first met Simon Baron Cohen. We shared the stage for ‘the autistic mind’ and after giving my talk I had stayed the night as it was to late to return home. This was the talk that started ‘Systemizing Konfirmation’ – and a few months later I found myself on the train to Cambridge.
unexpected
out of the blue
So the next day before the train home i visited some of the other talks.The one that grabbed me was on Earth impacts – something as a geologist I have always been interested in – obsession – the earths time line and the story of life itself is governed ‘from above’ with a frequency that if common knowledge would make us all realise how vulnerable we are – fragile -we think we are so clever but to stop this?
this is natural
this is part of the universal cycle
13 seconds of wonder
Today’s was small compared to whats out there – maybe 10 – 15 meter across before entry – bus sized – the object hurtling into the earths atmosphere 20km per second – turning – burning away – then due to the pressure differences front and back exploding with a megaton of energy – the supersonic boom catching many unaware minutes later – 2014 Da14 is a ‘swimming pool sized city killer.
How come the most beautiful are most deadly
All chant
a-blay-sh-n a-blay-sh-n a-blay-sh-n
a-blay-sh-n a-blay-sh-n
a-blay-sh-n
will save us
‘Aquae Sulis sultis’
Portsmouth: February 13th
Reviewing notes
taken from
A Friday counting
Belshazar inspirations
the series
3
holds the tables
32
variations
256
totalling
768
Konfirmed as
found wanting
‘Shes sleeping just a little longer’
Portsmouth: February 13th
Wake 5:17 from vivid dreams – PTSD has been catching me out in the open – – snapping – chasing at my heels – hard to concentrate – think to be the artist – unwelcoming neurological conditioning – let me be after for 435 days
that is enough.
Those phantasms
trapped in the mists
have closed in during the last few weeks
surrounding
a half light
twilight
tastes akin to the moments before the eclipse
witnessed on Guernsey 99 standing on concrete
Atlantic wall
wood shuttered world
without birdsong
‘there are no stars tonight’
Even in the darkness you have to keep walking – making – dreaming – escaping
stumbling forward
stones loom out of the darkness
standing in conversation
some reclining
relaxed
effortlessly suspended
desires
‘older than the ages’
the moon all holds back
all is quiet
anticipation
dread holds the pits of thousands
antique valid questioning
will the sun return?
she returns
I concentrate
as materials gather together
evolving from nutrients creating new life
forming
forming
figures in the mist
have they come for me?
yes
i am ready
as birdsong appears
before I can chase them away
our suns rise
but she is gone
‘come and see’
Portsmouth: February 9th
Wake
as
per
imposed schedule
now
selfish
its my thinking time – stripped bare
bath – read – consider – apply – design
cold creeps upon the waters and breaths
into me forgotten words – multiple triggers – overt
connections redissolve as the water flows in a second time
my refuge
out
about
multiple puzzle pieces
attemptingly fit together
where do they f
2 beeps and news that today I must buy a paper
dress
acquiring rain proof boots
mind made up to visit Daughter 1
at the train station after the 2 tickets and receipt are withdrawn from the plastic flap
I buy The Times from the coffee shop ‘is that all’ he barks
to me that’s all i need but hold the
secret still that I need to look
to look at myself
serious face
there
for
all
to
see
referred to as at school
ABC by my end name
always first in the
queue to be chosen
picked clean
noise
sudden
dopplered
a train arrives
I wont look again
keeping my clutched secret
as i step reading the reservation strips
find from Bristol to Cardiff
rare safe seat
Rain
Rain
Rain
finally summon courage to read
Cover article
page 24
be
patient Jon
and wait to konfirm
that everybody now knows
how vulnerable you really are
Playing on the left if needed too
Portsmouth February 7th
Waking earlier and earlier since temporary hiatus in treatment’s – hate the word – an unforeseen downside means the dreams are back- these would rival any David Lynch film and leave me to snooze, highly disturbed – under the covers from 4am onwards.
Gave an unexpected talk at a University Research and Funding event – Asked to give alternate view on funding opportunity not only did I do my ACE encouragement bit but used connections and links to the differeing projects over the past 7 years as example – of never knowing what may happen.
Sometimes a seemingly insignificant event can change everything and you look back and ‘if I hadn’t gone there I wouldn’t be doing this’
better than if you had planned it
the chain of
events
coincidences
talks and work
leading to this project are fragile
sometimes mixed with personal preferences and bias
Leverhulme Residency at the ICG http://www.port.ac.uk/departments/academic/icg/
3 personal supernovae
plastic bags in trees and Art Plus mapping
Synaesthesia – forming sound
Stones from the Lizard 13
a Turbine hall full of seagulls singing
the last minute submission
Train Journey to Southwick
Invitation to map
Dean of Sciences – Graphic granite conversations
Invitation to visit
Invitation to talk
Invitation to submit
may I
dare I
i dare
Konfirm
Always suffered
from ‘fraud syndrome’
I am only here because of other peoples mistakes
hard to shake free but must be possible
I am only here because of other peoples mistakes
coincidence
KONFIRM
