Konfirmation systemizing: Revaluing Autistic Thinking – Autism Research Centre residency

Chasing the pathway

Cambridge: January 24th

Wake at 5:27 – Pleased i am not forgotten – snooze. Headphones on.

Breakfast changes – more bacon more beans no egg or tomato- decide this is the new rule

Leave – Ice walk – slip twice – no falling – no conversation

Making day

Sit listen play Sit listen play

Sit listen play Sit listen play

Sit listen play Sit listen play

Collect new words during lunchtime conversation as follows:

Hormones

Prenatal

Genotype

Controls

Androgen

Paternal

Genetics

Sibblings

Placenta

Maternal

Estrogen

Find one myself

Receptor

stay late

walk in the dark keeping that serious face in my pocket

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Sometimes my head wonders off and I think of complete nonsense

Cambridge: January 23rd

For once i miss the 5:30 wake up call being an hour late at 6:31 maybe PTSD overslept – not going to argue – not going to fall

Big day – up – was – dress – news – breakfast – have exactly same as yesterday – why change? – overheard conversation hands me blog title

Order taxi – feel guilt again at not walking in – icy and need to get there in one piece including the Sherpa style haversack packed with computer kit – no hard drive slip up – not going to fall

In – unpack – first tea – blog update I wrote last night – Simon is here – conversation

He waits for reporter

I wait for catalogue interview with one of the curators of Oxford show where an image from Look About 228 is included in their show – second tea

www.o3gallery.co.uk/pdfs/AP_Press_Release.pdf

we chat – ins and outs of making work with AS – Outsider Artist – happy with that one – D word never mentioned – relief – things have moved on – concentrate – leave writing it down – dont want to fall interesting conversations

Break for interview with reporter

Focus

focus

focus

focus

Interview goes well

A stone from Marazion beach holds my hand

Despite being very nervous at first – supported – learn about myself – do I need the paper to prove something? – only to others less understanding of my normality – times fly – leave writing it down – dont want to fall – photographs requested we enter conference room to find a studio transformation – grey background relief – made from a serious paper

go

chin up chin down

serious face left a bit straighten

serious face chin down left closer

serious face left right hands loose

serious face hands in pocket

chin up chin down

serious face closer tilt head left

serious face closer tilt head right

chin up chin down

chin up chin down

finished

third cup of tea

MRI – moments – learning sequences that are watched and measured – set two I desire detail and style dates – will follow leads – present some of the made work raw back – interesting conversation

room 1 room 2 room 3 room 4 room 5 room 6 room 7 room 8

room1 small room 1 room 1 room small 1 room 1 room 1 room small 1 room 1 dot

room 8 room1 room 2 room 3 room 4 room 5 room 6 room 7

forth cup of tea

The afternoon I talk about and present some of the complexion structure and process held secret within the work to Simon – good comments back sending a flurry of new questions through my head that need an answer – historical may be’s – documenting – process explanations – finished but always come away feeling appreciated by the Interesting Conversation

I have no map – Keep going its OK

I have no map – Keep going

I have no map – Keep

I am that map

I can feel it drawing each moment symbiotically without falling

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‘Just having a conversation really helps’

Cambridge: January 22nd

Woken at 5:27am – makes a change – snooze fighting back literal dreams

TV – Endless news proclaims Cambridge as being the coldest place in the UK at minus 12 – Look out of window at snow covered landscape odd in non-moon-light – green bamboo bowing to all their surroundings set to one side – no footprints to mar the view – just a frozen fountain.

Up

breakfast – no biscuits

2 toast

Grapefruit Juice

Tea x2

Egg

Bacon x2

tomato half – conversation

Pack for day – Head downstairs – decide to get taxi as pavement frozen solid – conversation

I would walk but I know I will fall over – no balance sense when its cold – wait – take sweet as fossil – read map on wall from 1995 – start to get hot – taxi here – conversation

Arrive at Autism Research Centre and let in – Welcomed – sort pass no 6 – settle down – meet – conversation

Sort space – sort cards – meet – conversation

Hand in forms – explain – conversation

Sit in allotted office – computer on and watch snow fall from the trees while I work – listening I spotting the differences – this is my system I am creating – wet and dry LFO – feed in segments – play – repeat – play repeat – action – lunch invite – lunch conversations – explain work so far including the desire for no repeats within the repeats – listen – river rowing – visits home.

Return and continue

repeat

action

outcome

new action

new repeat

play – repeat – learn – tidy

news from home – chemical spill in France smelt on south coast – last time it was earthquake when I was away. Miss the fun.

Leave and walk – slush avoidance strategy – carefully maneuvering between the drive entrances – manhole covers always clear – stepping stones – foot holds – slow – shops – food gathering – think – choices – tea – hold back tears by the whiskers cat food. Disturbed by way woman throws my choices into the bag with flick of practiced wrist. Who is she?

In – unpack the food – systemize the food – organized – 4 packed lunches for rest of week – attempt bath without mocking shower cap – fail – ignore wall stimulation – fail as the defiant patterns object to my slight.

First cup of tea – with real milk hidden on window ledge

Work again

Spell check misdemeanors

Halibut to Halifax

Blog to bog

Beatrix to vomit

Second cup of tea – retrieved without falling

headphones on

Shut my eyes and watch the snow fall from the tree

Littoral literally

Cambridge: January 21st

Wake at 5am and listen to radio – endless news about the weather reminding me – taunting me not to worry. Wear hat for first time this year – Two University meetings – aspergers student project and REF – meet twitter follower for real

Lost lottery ticket sticks out of snow bank:13 14 21 34 35 03 06

Home – cat fed – wait – wait –wait – rush – food fuss – forget things – Restricted timetable – leave.

Journey – long – cold – therefore painful – but the trains worked – evidently not for all that many people – I feel rare. Lost

Sky darkening – listen to Different Trains on the train – we keep stopping which spoils the effect – Elastic band abandoned – trolley passes at speed ignoring me as have tell tale homemade sandwich in hand – wanted tea.

lost boot chain seen on platform edge at Waterloo

Underground busy – feel invisible as people walk directly at me – timed this wrong – change at Warren Street but have to let 3 trains pass in as many minutes as they are too full to allow any semblance of personal space. Forth train slightly less full so give it a go – breathe its 2 stops only.

Arrival as the train splits in two – slush – walk in road as unfrozen – here.

Unpacked sort systemize ‘stuff’

Small tea

TV

Bath

As I lay back I see rhythm written in the walls – wash – dry – camera out – pictures taken – battery warning – fail realization as left charger at home – take frustration out by mocking the shower cap

TV Incas each stone interlocks – second cup of tea

Turn back on endless news – third cup of tea

Fill in form I had forgotten to do – on own so takes the equivalent of the Triassic Period to read

Subtitles on – ‘Germans pour into Poland’ pour? How literalism eats away at my imagination

Grinling Gibbons

Limewood – first cup of coffee

Gilded sculptures -undercuts

Switch off please – can I?

No

22 hour day – I didn’t put that in the application

‘At the third stroke it will be Five twenty three and fourteen seconds’

Portsmouth: 18th January

Wake

breathe and collect

as usual

5:23am

Look out of window – no snow

r e w a k e a t 7:47 – snowing hard – cat is disturbed and cant grasp – wash and dress

I choose to leave

I choose to guess

I choose to attempt walking on the hidden grass rather than – risk – the ice compressed paths – pedestrian off roading amidst a twenty minute white out – wait – wait wait but no meetings everyone else seems to have stayed at home – dual purpose day – artwork to be sorted – preparing for return and exhibition – glad postcard 3 was completed in advance.

warm

I have artwork

completed

Warm

I think about home

returning

on the grass

then

accidentally page turning

find

new word to add

(take)

(claim)

concatenation

read

eat

follow the instructions

to reveal its meanings

an d take

a great joy

in misspelling

as outside

sky darker

it starts to snow

harder

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