In my dreams I play the artist in a time of autisterity
Portsmouth April 5th
Wake at 3:22 am with unwelcome start – PTSD has readjusted to time change with just a weeks difficulty – now its same as before – seems impossible – dreams becoming unhelpfully erotic – I play the artist even within mine and others nightmares
my autist avatar spins – whispers only 3 whole days to go
5:13 am create a short list of Komforting words
Kontext
Kontour
Konsort
Komfort
Konnote
Konverter
Konnective
Konsistency
Konsecution
Konterminous
Konvealescent
They move and rearrange to say only 3 whole days to go
Sleep in till 8:47 in the arms of the radio – wake – to missile movements – announcements – swim in shallow water – clothing – container failure – walk against cold headwind – acting with unskilled demeanour of consistantly looking downwards
In the cracks of pavements I see written only 3 whole days to go
Needing to face computer – Postcard 4 artwork needs to be drawn and printed – final – ready to take – Cambridge – distributed – reminders of fresh paint on cardboard – outsiders articles
Between the lines on the page are hidden only 3 whole days to go
Rewrite yesterdays poem for the reverse
one
quiet
Konfirmation day
you
will
come and see
torn detail
across
carved wood
gathered
sympathetic
with many others
as we are written within
forming trees
high
all encompassing forests
fall
with those who labour
to systemize me
Autistic assemblages – finish – email – walk looking at the rain – patterns etched against the grey – connecting in lighter lines instantly – here and there – arrive to welcomes – printing as we speak of migrating sand dunes and words scratched into sand at Christmas – cuts number 6 plus one – wrapped and ready to walk home
Pushed content, images from the back of my head, reminders of only 3 whole days to go
Return to desk then studio 21 – clean – move – rearrange – write – research – finished – walk home without looking down – no reminders watching – home with same sequences consorting to remind me
there are only 3 whole days to go
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Alternation written from the other side
http://tellmeagainwhat.blogspot.co.uk/
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