‘Polished to within a millimeter of their soul’
Cambridge April 9th
Wake early after 5 am in strange room but remember that its OK – late sleeping
radio and snooze – then shower (alien to me really only do baths) dress and head down for breakfast – Breakfast has changed in the 3 months since I was last here – for the better too
Hash browns and soft scrambled egg -sausages too – set new rule and try different ‘order of things’ – as I gather I am recognised – a small ‘small talk’ chat
Its all looked on as a learning experience – Lucky – I am not spoken too by any other guest but look on at the different people without making my staring obvious (i hope) and learn more…..
finish cup of tea
finish breakfast
finished
leaving
conversations
Its not cold – sharp but not cold
I enjoy the walk although the last third is consumed by coughing – i cough when I am very nervous – i am obviously very nervous – body tells me so
Part way I gather – stop and photograph the skeleton pattern of ivy on brick wall – ghostly fossil of past life
Cough – here – enter in the familiar gates warned and watching out for loose red gravel – as the sign says…
Head in
sort stuff
19 minutes
get ready for Konfirm
I a m
R e a d y
as i will ever be
Konfirming time is 19 seconds and counting
18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2,
then the waiting room call
its almost 300 minutes till I leave from the Konfirm
——————–PK———————–
Thirsty – I make tea and sit in the garden – i walk over to orchard remainders in sunshine but cold to the touch these trees just start to show blossom – irony – as I feel that myself
Sit, write a bit unsteady heady in nature – email request to show in USA unexpected but gratefully received – unable to read fully so forward…..
later after leaving I head into town for the first time – finding fossils in the shopping centre floor – ammonites and belemnites I am distracted for 26 minutes – leaving I head to the older streets suffering patterning overload all around…
———————————————
A call breaks the spell – one of OH friends lost her battle with cancer – tears flood at other end – say words of comfort but I know I am unable to stop her sadness – I sit and cover her blog for her – posted in a street of old history’s – being told by rote as tour party passes – the old and the new
Return
concern
to room
settle
sleep does not come easy as distracted by program on sleep problems
so lay
and
consider the day
knowing
excepting the change
I have learnt as a person but
importantly I have learnt secrets as to how I am an artist
