Big board.
Sitting over it.
Picking it up and moving it
linseed oil – different liquidity – more engagement with materiality .
Slips and slides you can feel more of a connection between the brush, paint and board. Physicaly it is a completely different experience.
Scraping back layers.
Linear mark making – an element of drawing
Old rag and more oil to push and smear paint, subverting background and foreground; form and non-form.
Anthropomorphic form. The marks have a familiarity of something figurative. The brain and tries to place these marks into a box of something we know. Does this searching for the figurative act as a gate way to readying the paint? A searching by the viewer or me the artist?
Have I started to get to a point where there is a tension?
I wanted to get up and walk away. You feel like if you keep working on it you will impede on some future conversation between paint and ‘non-subject’ which isn’t ready to come out yet.
How does this relate to my interrogation of the difference between stopping and finishing a work.
Im beginning to feel like I am ready to go back to it and do more.
Why couldn’t I just leave it there? If I wanted to stop as I felt there was a tension building doesn’t that mean it is finished?
Having built a tension was my previous milestone for when a painting was finished.
Perhaps I am trapped in feeling like it may be criticised for being seen as not complete. Too much of a sketch? Do I feel there is not enough layers of paint for it to be finished?
Or do I not see it as finished because my instinct tells me there is more to emerge from these marks.
Am I still amongst the chaos (Deluze)
Could the Chaos alone be the figural – is it the same thing?
Is it within my comfort zone to always push it past this point. Should I be challenging this?
