Response to Sarah Rowles debate about the artists insecurity and the lack of time to ‘find oneself’ as an artist because of the constant pressure to define ones practice in order to gain grants, exhibitions, funding…”
At this stage in my career there is little time for relective activity – the way I work often means that I m not sure of the direction I’m taking until I’ve finished the work – so much of my practice take place in a state of just about controlled anxiety – which is fine but does lead to feelings of insecurity. I have had period of continuous art projects since april 2008 – some funded some not funded but all of which have pushed me forward quite quickly so that I feel I have some momentum and have things lined up until May 2010. I am also at a stage when it would be useful to have some kind of assistant for a few hours a week but not sure how to work this out. I also have to fit all this around teenage children and family life plus earning a living – I teach and do gallery education and generally say yes to any other work. Whilst I feel invigorated by the range of activites that I do, I am sure that I am not spending enough time on developing my practice fully – some projects feel like just something else to get done rather that something meaningful and engaging. I have a place on an MA course in London Sept. 09 but the economic climate is reducing my work opportunites and the projects I have committed to mean I might not have time to take it up. It’s all swings and roundabouts and I think I just muddle through.
