Looking About – Auto-Bio-Stratigraphy – conceptual geologcal mapping

‘Swimming free in a clear trout stream’

Tuesday 30th July

Very briefly in addition to last post why I believe All children should be encouraged to fulfill their artistic dream – I said I would be an artist aged six – I can see it now and touch the comment. At school I was bullied for my aspergers/dyslexia after I could cover it up no longer – aged 11 – I couldn’t spell but I could draw – unfortunately after my latest picture – a Tudor Street scene was chosen as the best of the year and to be hung on the wall my teacher intervened – he asked me to write my name and subject on the picture – I cant spell my name not a good position for a kid in 1972 – I chose to guess rather than ask for help and be mocked – he took it when offered up – held it aloft and tore it in pieces – I had spelt my name wrong – I hid from then both ‘me’ and my ability to ‘draw’ for many years and never went to art collage – the next time I showed my drawing was 13 years later.

Nothing up here for a few days as have been diverted…..

It was not a good weekend

Started with promise on the Friday – looked through a few really good geology books – maps etc and some web material. Then the hydra raised its head on Saturday morning in the form of a brown A5 envelope – with disappointment and implication at its core but a no hope ’30 days to appeal escape clause’ that takes to much effort stands out.

Saturday then gets worse much worse 19.7 inches worse.

Spend Sunday quiet trying to recover from Saturday

unable to sleep again – feels like ‘last year’

Monday a bit better – Finding it hard to see through the fog and dark clouds others have gifted me unwanted – at least I go outdoors all be it a ‘late start’ and draw some Look About diagram in at the University – personal fan on setting 2. Back cat sitting in the bath flicking through ‘Sedimentary Structures’ 3rd Edition.

Tuesday: Some good news parts the dark cloud briefly to let some light and direction – I take some bearings with an immoral compass and search my map and gather some six figure locations – bad dreams scare but spend productive time on admin – not by choice but by need – decisions emails diary and the luxury of re-delving into my collection of geology books as front door is firmly shut.

and the cat sleeps 247

A short list of found words/phrases found in the bath:

1. Ripple morphology

2. Depth fluctuations

3. Mega-bedforms

4. Saltation

5. Ventifact

6. Dropstone

7. Stromatactis

8. Product of dissolution

9. Erosional relief

‘rollercoaster week’

Friday 26th July

Its been a hard week – almost finished – sitting here with tea after sleeping the night through for the first time in a week – in the mists of memory – easier the further back you go – delving into the past plucking fossils

and on the radio they are talking about. . . . .

remember 2012?

so its a year since?

the sports legacy – I think far to early to use that word – where does legacy ‘start’ and ‘effect’ finish? Legacy is the encouraged creative 7 year old who interacted in school with a Cultural Olympiad project with artists and leaves school for a future as the artist they were always meant to be?

there was never that opportunity for me at school which is why I actively took part – politics of the Olympics and sponsors aside – and worked in schools to encourage what I never had the chance to believe in – myself – one child even said to me during a ‘Flag’ day’ they didn’t know dyslexic adults existed? she was waiting to leave school for it to stop?

I know that the Cultural Olympiad also changed my life….I regained the promise to myself aged 6 – I will be an artist…

and also on the radio they are talking about scientists implanting false memory in mice

so what do you remember?

Regressions and transgressions

Thursday 25th July

morning regression prevailing anoxic shales with intercalated incursions of fresh biota

afternoon transgression of refreshed biota and hope

‘who’s system stratigraphy’

Wednesday 24th July

My day

morning transgressions with fast falling sands bringing rich new biota

afternoon regressions of dark dead anoxic shales closed inwards

Finding Faults within the geological map of the mundane

Portsmouth 22nd July

Monday:

I wake to early 5:29 am – expecting rain (normal fault one)

head downstairs – breakfast + cup of tea made quite well

In bath awaiting storm that never came (normal fault two)

Sign up as volunteer on ARC Cambridge website – complete 5 tests – Empathy, AS, Geometry, Systemizing, contained shape recognition

Builder turns up unexpectedly just before 10 (part of complex fault three)

knock on door but I am not dressed yet as its already too hot – hiatus before opening (complex fault three)

Builder fixes fault in roof without putting ladder in next-doors garden – the lead (Pb) had slipped (part of complex fault three)

Break glass after they have left washing up (normal fault four)

puzzle at emails making best guess – annoyed with my dyslexia (reverse fault five)

Edit map by adding dyke and fault structures derived from the basic image part 1

Arbitrarily cut misplaced or misshaped dykes and tidy up the edges of coastline part 1

head out in the sun to pay my tax bill at the local Post Office

Meet and chat to local councilor on the way

Post Office – no queuing

walk a different way home

Edit map by adding dyke and fault structures derived from the basic image part 2

Arbitrarily cut misplaced or misshaped dykes and tidy up the edges of coastline part 2

I make important phone call and get upset (reverse fault six)

Edit map by adding dyke and fault structures derived from the basic image part 3

Arbitrarily cut misplaced or misshaped dykes and tidy up the edges of coastline part 3

Cook tea for OH when she arrives in from work

Try to relax with TV and making – does not work to suppress panic attacks – so try a drink (Transverse fault seven)

head to bed and read by torch the ‘British Regional Geology – Scotland: The Tertiary Volcanic Districts’ 1961 Edition I bought at the BGS London shop in 1978

Hot: Impossible to sleep as am suppressing panic attacks (Transverse fault eight)

Get up 11:29 pm and read downstairs

next-door has left in taxi with large bags leaving doors open – strange

Whiskey one (normal fault nine)

Whiskey two (normal fault ten)

look at book and map of Mull

Tiredness finally strikes at 1:13 am head to bed

hot still but start to fall asleep

Closing eyes all I see is the map and the details in colours I have not used

Opening my eyes – panic attack in silence so not to wake OH (final fault eleven)

fall asleep before radio news at 2 am

dream

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