We had a group meeting on Friday – a bit of a shock really. I work a lot at home on my own which I really prefer, but it feels a bit like a tidal wave of things thrown at us when I go into college. The good news – or at least surprising news – is that our degree show is being extended. Its apparently now going to run from 13th June right up to the 26th. A good job that the postcards that we organised ages ago still havn’t gone to the printers. My only difficulty with the length of the degree show is that we are supposed to be there 10 – 6 and I can’t leave my dog that long – it’ll require a bit of juggling. Other news is more tutorials and talks – which will be useful as they are focussing on getting our portfolios ready. These sit in our space and accompany the exhibition. Its just that it does feel a bit like more distraction when I’m struggling actually to make the work. I breathed a huge sigh of relief this year when the Dissertation was out of the way (12,000 words on ‘The Artist in Wartime – propaganda, censorship and the visual arts in Britain in the Second World War’) then we had to do presentations to some of the first and second years about our working practice, as well as continually keeping a journal. All of this does sometimes feel like it gets in the way of just working. The date for submitting the journal has also now been brought forward, which for those of us who aren’t that good at doing it regularly is a bit of a nightmare. This journal is something that we’ve done every year of the course – its a record of your work, a place for critical reflection on what you are doing, ‘contextualising’ being the key term. Its a task I find really difficult – I was told in first year that mine was too personal and I think that feedback has just made me clam up ever since. What is art if not personal ? I also find that the fact that we have to separate the journal out doesn’t sit naturally with me. I keep a sketchbook all the time and thats the place where I write, draw, think…… Separating my drawing and my writing isn’t the way I will work when I’m free of the course requirements. Going into college too reminded me how much we are crammed in to the available space – we’re struggling for room; yet apparently we are lucky in that we still each have a dedicated workspace. Its all under threat. Such a shame as having a decent space is just vital especially for most students who are living in shared houses or university accommodation.
Over the last day or so I have been working on various pages of the next book; in the film, Joan is relentlessly pursuing her goal – she's on a journey up to the Western Isles. She constantly refers to a timetable and everything goes smoothly until the last stage, when a storm blows up. She can't get over to the island – her ultimate destination. At this point in the film everything starts to break down – the timetable is whipped out of her hand by the wind. I'm exploring ways of physically taking apart the narrative, destroying the script. There is order – disorder – then a re-ordering. She goes through a sort of therapeutic process; everything is broken down, stripped away so that she can know herself better. At the end order is re-established but its different. The visual imagery I have in my head is pieces of text flowing out of the book – another key moment in the film takes place by a waterfall. So I'm working on sample pages – using thread and stitch and glue to give this sense of the story breaking apart. Fragments of words. Its beginning to be a bit of a worry that I'm going through all this at what feels like rather a late stage……
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I am now in the last stages of the run up to our Degree Show, which opens on Friday 13th June. I hope that isn't a bad omen ! The project I am working on started with a film that I love – Powell & Pressburger's 'I Know Where I'm Going'. What fascinates me about the film is that it addresses ideas of fate – whether our lives have meaning. Do the things that happen to us happen for a reason or are they just random and chaotic ? Do we have any control over our lives or are our choices an illusion ? The film is shot through with references to myth and stories – it is as though the central characters are having to play out the stories that they tell – again this goes back to the question of whether they have any free will. Of course they themselves are only creations in a story too. This interest in narrative led me to make a series of books – or at least to embark on this – each of which will represent one of the characters in the film and contain all the words spoken by that character. Each book is intended to reflect some aspect of the person. I am also bringing in imagery which is personal to me – drawn from the landscape around me. The making process is very slow though – and intensive. The first book that is nearly complete is a circular book – Torquil, the hero figure, represents a force of chaos in the film, the person who disrupts the heroine's plans. Central to the film is a whirlpool and he is the living embodiment of that.
