…I started questioning my work.
I haven’t been happy for a while with my work, and I think its due to being on a course that is about business. I was seeing things as products: Are they too expensive? What can I do to make them sell? What is my unique selling point?
This is all valuable information, as in the end we all have bills to pay! But I knew my work was loosing its integrity and I had completely lost my focus!
I was making things for the hell of it, changing it all of a sudden and doing something else, never really any structure, just all over the place.
It all came to a head today and I knew I needed to write. I wrote down everything I was interested in and made myself answer why.
By doing this I was able to see the connections in my work, what my focus really is and have found a way forward through the mess. I now have a project, which I am happy with and see a lot of potential in.
I have also decided on going back to Yorkshire to start saving for the RCA as that is where my heart lies. I have the facilities to make work for the London exhibition in May next year and good contacts with local galleries. I am also thinking of organising an after school ceramics club at my local school, with an exhibition of the children’s work at the end. This will let me continue to teach and put to good use the skills I have accumulated in the last 4 years at Uni.
So, it’s been a pretty horrible few days. I’ve had doubts about work before, but never on this scale, and not with the added worries of what to do after this year. I used to get them on my BA course coming up to the last few weeks before a deadline, and I’m sure many of you have too. Is this work right? Do I have time to change this or that? What do I do next?
I find writing helps, even if its just nonsense at first, eventually a glimmer of sense rises up from the mess.
I’ve posted all this on my blog as a way to finalise it I suppose. It’s up here, I’m happy with the decisions I’ve made and can finally get on with doing what I want to!
