I talked a bit about Ai Wei Wei – ‘Ai Wei Wei has always been so very officially connected, and ‘If it happens to him, what about us?’. She says we know more about this situation because they can’t even type ‘ai wei wei’ into a browser. She tells me Chinese would never revolt, most people feel happy – or feel they are free -this is the most amazing thing, is that the government constricts us, but most people don’t know they do. I say – I think its the same everywhere. Then ‘We are peaceful people, we have never attacked another country in 5000 years. I am then left wondering about Tibet, about Taiwan and about the propaganda of the west and its fear of China, and the propaganda machine of China and how much I don’t know.
As we translate the funeral criers, we talk about the role of children and parents – she will always look after her mother and father – it is her duty – both financially and with physical help she says. Her parents will get the pension, but she will still be there to look after them. Her parents support her now, and there is no question of that either – there is no way she can support herself. She will be ready to move back with her parents, not now she says, but in the future. She asks me what happens in Australia. I say, Oh, many people put their parents into homes and nurses look after them. Parents like their kids to move out around 18 years old and begin their own life. She looks a bit stunned, and I feel a bit heartless. What happened? Reading these lines, from the funeral criers, and the words of love, it makes me think a lot about family relationships, expectations and roles. She says that you never really argue with your parents, it is your duty to respect them and do what they say. They have such a tight network of support, and a tight network of expectation. The pressure on these only children is huge. The careers they choose, the people they marry, but this expectation is both ways – love, blood and respect binding them together.
These funeral cryers are screaming as they sing these songs, banging there chest, throwing themselves to their knees, to the ground, throwing their arms in the air – eliciting the mourners to cry. The words are of love, speaking of virtues, and speaking of a life spent working hard to look after the family. Traditionally Chinese people must cry really loud and make really loud sounds at the funeral – this shows their love. She tells me that love is not a word that is used often between parents and children when they are alive. Parents do not tell children ‘i love you’ – in China, its sort of an implicitly known fact, and doesn’t need demonstrating with words. Its also not shown through hugs or affection. When I hug pablo and he kisses me, we get a few looks and smiles.
