meeting points and disconnects: the cultural nuances of emotional expression.

We did another hair dresser shoot today. Matt and I have been fiming hairdressers around the world. We just place to camera they for a few hours, in front of the hair dressing chair and let it roll.. We have found after a while that the people forget the cameras there – and action just unfolds. So far with have shot in Turkey, Beijing, now Chongqing. We set up the camera on a tripod and leave it running. We leave the hairdresser and set ourselves up in a cafe near by. I keep running back and forward to check all is OK with the shoot, and pablo trails me, wanting to know what we are up to. By the end of the shoot, all the waitresses were follwoing me up to the hairdressers to work out what was going on.

Time is running out fast. We lost electricity again, so our electricity box was beeping, so the neighbours came out again to see what is going on. They must think we are idiots – this is the third time this has happened.And the beeping alarm is an annoying sound that ricochets through your head – everyone can hear it. first night we managed candles – which was fine, but its getting pretty cold now. The problem is we need to know how to cash up the electricity card, and then the office closes, so your out of electricity until they open. Apparantly there is only a certain ‘zone’ office you can go to. We lost it on Saturday, so all was closed till monday. We were told we use ‘too much electricity’, which is probably true, but it is three of us in the apartment, not one person – and I want to keep my son warm, and I am paying for it, so I don’t mind using it right now. I was then told I should let them know before it runs out – and this would be great – if someone told me how to read the electricity box so I would know that it was about to run out! Sometimes I find myself getting frustrated not knowing how things are done. The constant learning, the adapting is both wonderful and tiring. Pablo handled it well, he usually doesn’t like the dark, but he didn’t complained and enjoyed the candles.

Anyway, I lost a few days to no electricity and we hung out in the Moons’ cafes, drinking tea and using the internet, trying to warm up, but no one really uses heaters here. We don’t really have the right clothes for the cold. Anyway, we then put heaps of cash on the card, so I don’t think it will run out for a while.

Losing electricity made me think its time to head south, to the warmer climates. We are thinking of moving onto Guanxi, searching for warmer weather and see a bit of China. It will be sad to leave chongqing – we have felt at home here, we have loved the food, we have met some great people.

I did a talk to Organhaus, after a shaky start with the projector not liking my computer, it went OK, I tried to keep it simple as she, translated the talk. The discussion afterwards went for a couple hours, so that was interesting. i met some artists that I wish I had meet a month ago. Well, I wish I had done this talk a month ago, but its hard to know how thing work here – the timings of when things get done are a bit different, and I am still trying to work out the rhythms and by zen about it. Organhaus starts work at 5pm, so its been difficult to sit down with Nikun, the curator and discuss ideas. However, she has made herself available – she has been really wonderful.

I still have some more tanslations to do as well – I hope we can fit them in. She has been fantastic, i will miss her. This is the problem with residencies, you make friends, you feel like you live here and then you leave. It all falls in to a memory, an ‘experience’, that you will probably realize the importance of years later.

As the weather has been cold, we have been frequently having ‘hotpots’ for lunch – a big boiling soup like dish filled ot the brim with chillies and oil. We then add vegetabels and meat. This is accompanied by beers to cool down the chillie. Its been pretty wonderful, however matt got really really sick – he was up all night, vomiting for hours the poor guy. I thought I might be next, but I seemed fine. Matt thinks the beer he drank might have been off.

We told the girls at Moon bar we will be leaving soon – oh, they got so upset about Pablo, our son leaving! Oh no! they cried, more chocolates came out, and he loves it.Oh, we should have free tea, free beer’ they say. I am left stumped again by the constant generosity.

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How dare you go away so silently and leave your family who is loving you so much.

00:10:12:00 – 00:10:23:12

We are missing you and loving you. We are reluctant to let you go. Papa

00:10:23:12 – 00:10:32:02

Papa! Papa! Please go slowly

00:10:32:02 – 00:10:40:13

You children’s hearts are so broken

00:10:40:13 – 00:10:57:10

We will make a date in the next life and become the loving family again.

00:10:57:10 – 00:11:14:12

Papa! Why do you leave us like this?

00:11:14:12 – 00:11:31:10

Take care of yourself, during the trip to the heavens, we wish you a pleasant journey.

00:11:31:10 – 00:11:48:03

Oh, god, why do you take our papa away?

00:11:48:03 – 00:12:12:22

The wind is strong and the rain is heavy during the journey to heaven, your kids wish a pleasant journey.

2722.mov

0.00.00 – 0.14.18

Dear friends. Dear community.

0.14.18 – 0.22.22

Hello everyone. It is an ordinary night for others.

0.22.22 – 0.33.03

To the children, tonight is a sad night.

0.33.03 – 0.37.08.

Tonight we loath to part from each other.

0.37.08 – 00.49.22

Papa. Can you see, your filial children have all come to see you.

00.49.22 – 00.57.22

Can you hear? Why? Why have you gone?

00.57.22 – 01.11.22

Papa. Please come back. Your children are calling out to you!

01.11.22 – 1.18.03

Your children are shouting your name loudly! Papa!

1.18.03 – 1.27.13

Papa! We are kneeling for you now.

1.27.13 – 02.10.15

My tears are like a river flowing. The drops of tears fall down in front of Papa’s alter.

02.10.15 – 2.32.01

My belly is full of words. But don’t know how to express.

2.32.01 – 02.43.14

With tears in my eyes calling my papa.

02.43.14 – 03.04.10

My long-suffering father.

03.04.10 – 03.18.10

Papa. Please open your eyes and look at the world again.

03.18.10 – 03.35.00

Can you see? Can you hear? Every one of your filial children has come back to see you!

03.35.00 – 00:03:40:08

Come to your alter!

00:03:40:08 – 00:03:47:11

They want to talk to you! They want to tell you their intimate words.

00:03:47:11 – 00:04:01:22

Papa! Papa! As you are gone, your children’s hearts are so broken.

00:04:01:22 – 00:04:14:08

Papa! Papa!

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Papa! Don’t go away!

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Your children can’t live without Papa!

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Papa! You worked so hard raising us

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Going through hardship his whole life, raising children.

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Our papa!

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Papa!

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Papa! Can you see? Our mother was pregnant ten months and then we come out to your arms.

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Papa! We grew up in your arms since childhood. Fed by your care. But now your are gone!

00:06:30:06 – 00:06:41:18

As your children, we haven’t rewarded your kindness and your nurture of love.

00:06:41:18 – 00:07:03:17

We haven’t enjoyed enough time as your children in this life. We are hoping to be your children again next life to appreciate you kindness and love.

00:07:03:17 – 00:07:17:14

In the journey to the heaven the wind is strong and the rain is heavy. Watch out!

00:07:17:14 – 00:07:21:08

Take care of yourself!

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We can’t look after you Papa! You have already gone.

00:07:33:14 – 07.44.18

When we miss you, all we can do is look at your pictures.

07.44.18 – 00:07:50:21

We can meet only in dreams, Papa.

00:07:50:21 – 00:07:59:01

When we miss you, we can only talk to your grave.

00:07:59:01 – 00:08:12:22

During the festivals we will burn joss sticks for you and come to see your grave.

00:08:12:22 – 00:08:22:20

Papa! Have a pleasant journey, Papa!

00:08:22:20 – 00:08:39:22

Papa! Papa! Papa!

00:08:39:22 – 00:08:48:16

hardworking

00:08:48:16 – 00:09:05:19

hardworking through your whole life. Enjoy your peace.

00:09:05:19 – 00:09:40:00

You work hard for your children. We are rewarding your kindness.

00:09:40:00 – 00:10:01:00

our suffering father.

00:10:01:00 – 00:10:13:16

Papa! Can you your children are calling you intensely!

00:10:13:16 – 00:10:34:05

Papa! Let your children call you Papa one last time. Papa!

00:10:34:05 – 00:10:57:00

Do we need more?

00:10:57:00 – 00:11:05:11

twenty minutes is so long

life has been going to fast. more translations, meeting people, gave talk, thinking about how to leave, and sadness creeping in that time is running out.

DC2724.mov

00:00:52:05- 00:01:00:20

Our kindly, kindhearted, never-ending loving kindness, father

00:01:00:20 – 00:01:11:19

You have gone. You have left exhausted. You have gone like this in peace. Papa

00:01:11:19 – 00:01:30:18

Do you know all of your filial children’s heart are tearing and bleeding since you have gone.

00:01:30:18 – 00:01:59:04

In this last night you stay with us, let your children call you our papa, our kindhearted and great papa.

00:01:59:04 -00:02:18:20

Your children’s tears are like a river flowing.

00:02:18:20 – 00:02:36:11

Drops of tears are falling in front of Papa’s alter.

00:02:36:11 – 00:02:45:10

Our good father.

00:02:45:10 – 00:02:55:22

My belly is full of words. Papa!

00:02:55:22 – 00:03:03:21

Don’t know how to start to express

00:03:03:21 – 00:03:15:00

Don’t know how to start to express! With tears in my eyeys calling apa

00:03:15:00 – 00:03:35:17

Our kindhearted Papa. Our good papa

00:03:35:17 – 00:04:00:18

Father you are the pillar of our family. On your trip to heaven could you please look back to see us.

00:04:00:18 – 00:04:16:22

You are alone on your trip to heaven, as the wind is strong and the rain is heavy, take care of yourself.

00:04:16:22 – 00:04:25:14

We couldn’t see your kindly face since this moment

00:04:25:14 – 00:04:31:12

We couldn’t hear your teaching of virtues since this moment

00:04:31:12 – 00:04:47:00

Tonight in our family table, we can’t see your being or your chopsticks and bowls

00:04:47:00 – 00:05:00:18

We really miss you and love you, we are reluctant to let you go, Papa!

00:05:00:18 – 00:05:20:11

My suffering father, please leave slowly.

00:05:20:11 – 00:05:37:18

We will remember the days we spent with you forever!

00:05:37:18 – 00:05:57:21

Our good father, you were there for us, Papa!

00:05:57:21 – 00:06:05:00

Suffering, lots of suffering and tiredness.

00:06:05:00 – 00:06:16:07

With tears in my eyes calling Papa!

00:06:16:07 – 00:06:25:21

Our great Papa!

00:06:25:21 – 00:06:35:09

Our father!

00:06:35:09 – 00:06:59:08

Papa! You are alone on your trip to heaven, as the wind is strong and the rain is heavy, take care of yourself. Papa!

00:06:59:08 – 00:07:23:09

If there is any circles, or next life, let your children come back to your arms and be your children again.

00:07:23:09 – 00:07:30:16

Could we be the loving family again?

00:07:30:16 – 00:07:46:02

Our good papa! Papa! Papa! Don’t go away

00:07:46:02 – 00:07:55:08

Your childrens hearts are so broken!

00:07:55:08 – 00:08:12:12

Take care of yourself during your trip to the heavens. Your children are kneeling for you.

00:08:12:12 – 00:08:30:02

Oh god, why do you take our father away?

00:08:30:02 – 00:08:48:02

We can make a date in the next life to become the loving family

00:08:48:02 – 00:09:05:03

Papa! Why have you gone like this?

00:09:05:03 – 00:09:21:08

My suffering Papa! Take care of yourself. We wish you a pleasant journey!

00:09:21:08 – 00:09:44:10

Papa! Its you that gives us our new life, it is you who gives us a loving family, it is you that raises us up, holding our hand.

00:09:44:10 – 00:09:51:23

Now we have grown up, we have our own family and career already.

00:09:51:23 – 00:10:04:14

But it is time for you to enjoy your happiness of autumn time.

00:10:04:14 – 00:10:12:00

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We went to dinner at Pizza hut last night. Oh, we had a craving for pizza. Highlight of the night was when our warm beers were served with a straw in them and with a warm empty coffee mug accompanying it.Remind myself never to give in to ‘western’ food cravings in china