My Life After Graduation

Quaid-e-Azam v Queen

First off I would like to apologies for my comments last week.. i was just felling really down and I had a bit off a rant…OK a big rank.

I didn’t really mean when i said I should just go and find a really job, why would I? i hate working in a 9 – 5 job, its sorry boring and I know some people really enjoy it but not mean…i guess I don’t like the order of doing the something over and over again… the other day I was looking up my star sign Aquarius and it made some interesting comment such as we are unpredictable, which in some case I guess it is true and also the website had our likes and dislike and one of the dislike, which i found to be really interesting was ‘The Ordinary‘…because with my background in the arts, i don’t like ordinary thinks, the rather ‘the Ordinary’ have some sort of life to it…maybe that why colour is soo important for me to use in my own practice…the reason being that colour is a way for me to escape this ‘Ordinary’…which i see it as something that never really changed or happens…

…maybe the reason why I’m finding it soo hard to be inspired is because I live in a town which nothing really happens and everything is always the same..maybe i need to move away from this place and go someone where were i can find some sort of inspiration…or maybe i should find a studio asap…but finding a studio I will need the money, which i work at the moment..try to find a job which is not a internship or volunteer ones…which at the moment these are the only job that I seem to find…its great experience but right this moment i would just like the cash and find a place were i can be by myself and make work…that’s were i am most happy doing… does it seem like I’m complaining about my live? please let me know or i can carry on.. your choicee

So today started out well, I won Alison Branagan’s book, The Essential Guide to Business for Artists and Designers…which I can’t wait to get it and read it… But later on I really felt like life after graduation really hit me now… I really need to find a place to live in London and a studio….but it not going to happen right this moment because life is so hard to find a job at the moment…maybe i shouldn’t have done art and did a subject were i could find a job easily, like law, teacher etc…

but i guess its a learning curve and i have to go through all this struggles before i something good comes out…but right this moment i’m really really really struggling… and i dont know what you do… maybe i missing th university system…maybe i liked that order and ststem…because right this moment i just want to give up, pack it up and leave and dont come back to the world off art… and find a really job (as some might say) maybe i just should…

It’s been 2 months now since I graduated and i’m living back with my parents. I keep saying to myself its temporary but each day that goes past it feels like i’m going to stay here forever.

….But anyway let me tell you about the jobs that i have been doing, I have worked as a studio assistant to Ben Johnson and Max Wiedenmann (google them their work are amazing). Which has been interesting working with two very different artists and learning new skills. Also I have helped out with exhibition such as the MIND events (you can find out more here mindfulofart.com).

But now that I have finished with all that I can’t really say that I have done much, people say think about the expereince that your getting (by people i mean my mum) but I don’t think i got much to show for.

Yes I have worked with two artist and made contacts but i guess my mind wonders back to my own practice…. What i really want is a studio (wow i think i just quote a song from the spice girls) but anyway yesterday i got really excited that I might have found a studio but it turn out to be an office to rent, which isn’t the ideal space to make art. but i will keep on looking. I’ve done loads of drawing but even that doesn’t seem to be much.

I guess I’m missing the praise from tutors or other students. want i really want is someone to say ‘yeah u done load of stuff since you left’ or ‘your doing great’. Because right this moment i don’t think i got much to show and i almost wasted the last 2 months. Or maybe I’m being inpatient (i think thats the right word that i’m thinking off) and i want thing to happen now…. I just want someone to buy my work…at least that will give me some reasurrance that my work is good and people are generally are interested in my work.

I don’t think i got much faith in my own practice at the moment…maybe because it becaming too decorative…maybe i like it to be decorative…i’m soo confused…were is my artwork leading too?? if anyone got the answer can you please let me know thanks Amreen