I have very wide feet.
In order to order some new shoes from an online company based in Derby I took a pre prandial trip to Clarks for measuring.
Incidentally I have just heard that all the art spaces in Derby are under threat of closure due to lack of funding.
I was a little embarrassed as I had no intention of buying shoes from their shop but Annabel assured me it would be alright. Indeed the lovely assistant was most accommodating. After explaining, at length, that no one measures adult feet anymore and that, no I couldn’t use the exciting children’s laser measurer, she disappeared into the storeroom in search of a set of antique foot calipers. I have to admit at this stage I felt like a bit of a pervert. Then as she grew more excited I was instantly converted from pervert to freak. Apparently my feet are shaped much like those of a duck. It is possible that with a little more adaptive evolution I could return to the sea much like Bobby Ewing.
This is all by the bye as, having given up on Internet shoes in favour of two plastic bags secured at the ankle, I am working on tying up a few loose ends for SLUICE (please excuse the capitals). I have created an edited compilation of some films, an instruction sheet for sowing cress in toy cars and a list of titles which may, or may not, be correct. I am hoping the cress David and Annie took away with them will still be in it’s prime when SLUICE opens, but if it is not I am taking a leaf out of the Chelsea Flower Show gardeners’ handbook and have several replacements on the go in varying states of advancement.
Alex Pearl – SLUICER
