so i just realized i havent posted on here for about 10 days. now that just shows what a busy 10 old days i've had. and i've been learning how to make intestines and websites and the gravity behind making a sculpture stand up. all exciting stuff. things seem to be going really well at the moment. i'm going to start casting for my next sculpture tommorow. other than that i have some written work to do and things. i'd like to say i'm feeling confident but i think i'm just sure of myself. if you minus the multiple mini panic attatcks i have when someone says '5 weeks left….5 weeksssss' oh dear, the real world is edging ever closer, and i don't like it. not one bit.
so yesterday was pretty good, a massive st. patricks day parade came right past my house, the benefits of living above a shop on the main road into town i guess. its not very often that entertainment comes to you, usually you have to go and seek it out. other than that i had quite a few ideas and things. and i got a tutorial report form out the way and some graduation stuff, which i think caused more problems than good. and today i think i'm going to go to the libary and print some stuff and looks for books on duane hanson. i dont really like getting books from the libary, i like them to be kept on my book shelf so at a moments notice i can rifle through them, in search of something. but the art section in waterstones is rubbish and i don't like buying books off the internet, unless there fiction. becuase you dont know what your getting, i could end up with something thats all writing and no pictures, imagen that?!? now that would indeed be awful.
And today feels like the day I discovered music, again. And ive been listening to lots of things I haven’t heard for a while. And down loading music like mad. And I listened to Gomez and minus the bear and basement jaxx and idlewild and prefab sprout. And I found out why I fell in love with so many bands in the first place, particularly Gomez and idlewild. Although only there early stuff, the first 2 albums and surrounding e.ps in both cases. I remember when I was about 14 and I went to see idlewild, what I’d give to be back there. 14 pretending to be 18 and getting bruised up in a mosh pit.
and all this sounds awfully like i haven't done any work. although i did start writing, something, maybe a book. i wrote about 3 pages. and i hoovered up too. but neither of those things is going to get me my degree. although i have had an idea about how to do part of my work so i guess i might start that later.
and today i woke up surprizingly early, considering that i diddn't go to bed untill past four. i was all ready to do things but my computer slowed me down. and there is so many things i could/should have done today. i so pose it is only 2.17 and the day isn't over untill 3. i got an email from vice, that set me back a while. i have to send them some things by friday. i hope by the time i'm dressed the post office is still open. and i've got some work going into an exhibition in luton next week. i need to get that finished by friday. and i'm going out thursday and friday and tomorrow i have tutorials. so i guess that leave tonight. i'm so posed to be looking after my brothers tonight, i dont think there really going to want to help with my work. ah well. maybe i'll just say in this afternoon and listen to lambchop and cry. another productive day. although the day is not over yet…ive got 38 minuets to get off my arse and out into the world. and i'm off (prolly to fall at the first hurdle).
and today is a bit strange. this morning i was all good and ready to do the tasks on my to do list. but all my hand kept doing was pressing snooze on my alarm. and when i did eventually get up it wasn't as late as i had thought. so i got up and sat at my desk. eating cerials right out the box. its just easier this way. and i thought about a text message i got last night and it made me angry. and i guess thats how i stayed for a few hours, angry. i diddn't reply. i don't want to. i don't ever want to reply. but i know i have too, and i think thats why i'm angry. as well as becuase of what was said. why do people think that they can tell me what to do? and why does someone think that if they said jump, i'm going to say how high?. becuase i'm not. your not as important to me and you seem to think. and anyway time passed and i thought that i might cry. untill the hussle driffted out of the speakers. you can't cry whilst listening to the hussle. although this time i diddn't get up and dance, i just sat, bemused. and then it was only when i heard lambchop – the distance from her to there, that i did actually cry. and as soon as i started i stoped. i'm not quite sure whats going on. i think i've finished my interogating context writting. which is a good thing i so pose. another thing to cross off on my list. if only i just didn't feel so strange today. i'm not even sure if i want to go outside. and not just becuase its been raining. and maybe i'll get some lunch and go to the libary. and make eyes with geeks. oh why is everything such a disaster?
