I walked over the golf course this afternoon and remembered the grass had been cut.
Recently I had walked here and it was waist high and acually difficult to wade through, I had kind of liked it, and could only just locate my dog who was drowned in it, though he didnt mind. It was wild with acres and acres of wild meadow with white flowers as tall as me. Felt primeval, pre historic, I was a first nation hunter gatherer. I lay down in the grass, dog, sun, trees and wild flowers and grasses it was so simple. Was this what art should be about? Then I was a soldier who was seperated from his unit, behind enemy lines and lost in a foriegn land.
Then I remembered that at the start of this blog I was hoping for exactly this scenario with meadow land making putting greens, fairways and rough indistinghable.
I was going to design a series of 18 flags and place them on where I thought the greens had been. The flags were going to celebrate the new wilderness, champion the flowers and the return of the birds and wildlife…..never did it and now the grass has been cut and the whole thing gone off the boil and I never designed the flags. Never did it,
Have I forgotton how to be an artist.
I wondered why I could not motivate my self to do this, grown lazy fed up with making art little designs on little bits of paper,
just pointless why what for I was not getting paid to do it lost all motivation I believe that I may have to discover myself all over again.
The world of art for money has so many limitations,
so compromised,
so unspontainious.
I have lost it I need to find new ways of working.
FIRE has been the highlight of this and the previous visit to the golf course. School kids set fire to the cut grass which lay over the entire area. I saw the smoke, saw people running away, then soon heard the sirens. I was walking several hundred yards away, a land rover 4×4 came driving across the grass. It even made a slight deflection in its couse towards the fire to come over to me! A tattoed elbow poked out of the drivers window and some guy with a fireman passenger said ‘the path is over there’ pointing. Then drove off. I didnt say anything. Then again today a fire around two tree stumps. Very nearly out with just a little smoke seemingly coming out of the ground. I stamped and trod kicked and scuffled it to try and put it out! I actually made it worse and it started smoking more. So I thought it best to walk away and not aggrivate it, it was so nearly out…best left.
