While working on my dissertation notes, I slid into reading a book by Charlotte Jansen – Girl on Girl, and came across an artist Izumi Miyazaki. Her work is based on taking self portraits which don’t represent herself. Miyazaki said ,,Even though I am making self-portraits, I do not feel that It is the same person in front of and behind the camera”, which is again a thing which I relate to a lot. She as a Japanese woman was expected to create more of cute than cruel pictures, but got the exposure she didn’t receive in Japan in America and Europe. Talking about her working method, Miyazaki stated that she always has a clear idea before creating the work, but that it often changes throughout creating the photographs. She turns herself into sashimi or a sandwich, a consumer and the product also.
Her grotesque like photography is opening new doors to imagination and to me, the aestheticality of her works really pull me in.
Why green?
was a question put by one of my peers towards my paintings. At first I thought nothing of it, but then, I realised that I myself want to know why green and what does green hide in different countries etc.
In a book The Little Book of Colour by Karen Haller I found a lot of information about the impact of colour on people in the psychological way.
Green in the USA symbolizes money, and is also a colour of enviroment and nature, whereas in the East, green can symbolize fertility, infidelity and new beginnings. In China, for example, to wear green hat is an expression that means your wife has been unfaithful to you. These are the meanings around the world, but most importantly now, because my audience is from Britain, green here symbolizes jealousy. The term ‘green-eyed’ jealousy was first used by Shakespeare, in his play The Merchant of Venice.
While reading a chapter about being confident in your workplace, green there symbolized balance and reasurance.
The fun part is, that I had no intention on using green in the first place. Green didnt take any importance in my project and all these informations came to me after finishing the paintings and photographs. Now thinking about it, green in the meaning of reasurance and balance perfectly work with my ‘theme’.
On the 3rd of November, I had the chance to have a tutorial with an artist Ann-Marie James. The possibility to have a tutorial with another artist than my lecturers was really helpful as getting a fresh view on my work could give me new ideas and possibilities. From the start of my tutorial, after mentioning my interest in Cindy Sherman in my dissertation and her influence on my work, I was recommended watching the movie Breathless by Jean Luc Godard for its amazing aesthetics that relate to Sherman’s work in the visible field (mostly connecting to her untitled film stills).
After that, I received the question about the expressions and how they connect to myself. The answer to it was my try of coming back to my theatre background, wanting to use expressions in my work to speak without using words (although the words would be added to the pictures afterwards). Ann-Marie then recommended me trying also costumes and masks to wear or paint on my face and see how it could work in my practice. Sherman used quite a lot of masks to hide herself under a different gender/identity for her self-portraits.
Here is my take on it. This work is titled Oh my Cindy I and Oh my Cindy II.
I used a borrowed camera from the university and some makeup and props that I found in my room. I did not put too much thought into it as I wanted to keep it as raw as possible.
With another reference to an artist called Amelia Ulman, whose practice was based on creating a fake self, fake identity and fake life. She convienced the whole instagram that she is a wealthy woman travelling and eating expensive food and living a luxury life, meanwhile she was struggling with money herself and was buying all the designer clothes from charity shops and living in motels. That whole just left an amazing impact on me as I myself enjoy instagram so much. She saw an opportunity and took it as her own thing. Which is inspiring.
And of course there was a mention of Michael Borremans and his “eating the beard”. The painting kind of connecting to my work and a reference for a book to read.
MICHAEL BORREMANS
Michael Borremans is a Belgian artist that has a very innovative approach to painting which combines technical mastery with a subject that defies a straightforward interpretation. His works are known to have a contemporary relevance.
https://www.davidzwirner.com/artists/michael-borremans
One of the first times when I came across his works was in my first year as I tried painting with the exclusion of a face. Here is the painting I am talking about.
Novotna, M. Untitled (2019)
A thing that seems to be reappearing in his work is exactly that. Missing faces, paintings of people that have their back turned et cetera. A painting titled Oblivion (2002) Oil on Canvas, 69.5 x 60.3 cm has a very close reference to my work.
After re-reading the notes and comments by the viewers/peers, I’ve decided to paint two more paintings using the photographs exhibited for the crit.
Its going well so far and these are the paintings in progress:
update 15.11.2021
Finishing the paintings did not take a long time as I finished both at the same day. One just needed a little colour correction as the colours on the face didnt relate to the ones on the other painting, making them not connect in the end, and one needed a full coat of paint. It was funny, seeing how one painting can take me many hours to finish and one can take me only 45 minutes.
Another fun fact is that the painting that took me the least time finishing ended up being the favourite one of people on my instagram, as they sent me my painting with amazing words how the painting speaks to them.
The one that spoke to people is called Let them know. The other painting is called Silence.
To continue painting the possible triptych, I have started working more on the painting in the middle and this is teh outcome so far. Will post more updates as I paint more.
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updated: 04.11.
In continuation to my painting, I added a few more layers, using also linseed stand oil to give my painting a little 3D effect. I think it worked quite well, but I struggled at first with putting the stand oil on with a paint knife, which ended up looking terrible, because I overdone it and chose the wrong colour. That ended up with me scraping off the paint and adding another layer with more of a blue colour, which I again didnt like. So another scraping followed and this time I used a brush to brush away the pigment that stayed there because of the stand oil… and that worked! First thoughts were more on the negative side with me actually hating the stand oil, but I was actually really glad that I used it in the end. I then used the same colour with a bigger knife on the water, to create more realistic feeling, and then to create little outlines to the tears on the face.
And here is the finished product:
Today was also a CRIT day, where I presented this last painting with my previous photographs meant for the future exhibition. The feedback was really good and actually made me think about the next possible steps.
The notes that I took today was from people who’s approval to write down their names I did not ask for, therefore they will be adressed as person n. 1,2,3 etc…
Person n.1 liked the technique I used in creating my painting (swirl of water) and the fact that I used more 3d paint on top of a smooth layer of paint. N.1 also noted that the green tears give off the impression that they are the invisible ones, hiddent inside. From the photographs, Notes to my photography were mostly that the pictures seem like illustrating a traumatic experience and story and that they work together with the painting, because of the paintily effect. I got the note that the painting doesn’t need a text and that there is a certain symbology in the painting. I was also recommended looking into Riso printing and Aluminium printing.
Person n.2 liked that the image on the painting wasn’t shown in the photography variation, they also liked the fact that the neck in the painting gives off the same tense feeling like the pictures do. They also focused on onen part of the painting, that the body distortion worked well. Focusing on the photography now, N.2 stated that the viewer can see the relation of text to the pictures (The gaze avoiding a person, last one looking like a mask) and that the series look emotional and tense and somehow cinematic. The text was also seen as an inner thought or commentary. N.2 also thought about the option of not putting the text in the pictures and leaving it as its own artwork next to the works. Another recommendation was trying out different places in the bathroom, not just the bathtub.
Person n.3 made a comment that this work is different from what I was doing last year, with me more focusing on capturing the image. They also focused on the fact that everything is green and what is the reason for that. The picture with text saying ,,he is here” spoke to N.3 as the most tense and emotional with the hands conveying fear and childlishness. N.3 also thinks that the pictures dont need the text and that they look separate from the text and connected at the same time.
Person N.4 felt somehow claustrophobic from looking at the picture with me screaming. N.4 also suggested putting in something that will distrupt the pattern. N.4 also spoke about making the pictures a little further away from each other to make the time pass slower while seeing them. Look out for the consistency of sizes and text. N.4 also liked the idea of body being cleansed in a way. They also spoke about the painting being coffin like which is the opposite to the pictures, because they look like they are having a motion. A very nice note was about the fact that the viewer doesn’t feel like they are the protagonists on the other side, meaning that the viewer has a passive view.
Person n.5 asked questions. Is the painting a combination of all the feelings presented on the photographs? WHat should be presented first: Painting or the pictures? (meaning that the pictures are like a build up to the painting). N.5 like that I perfected the technique of painting myself and that the painting also captured the mood, expressive and not flat like before. N.5 wants to see the pictures without the text, meaning that the imagination can go wild without the text.
