Procrastinations of a working man.

I’ll jump straight in I think with an update as to what I’ve been up to the last week or so since my last update.

I’ve been extremely busy which is good news and have managed to finish my drawing and submit it into the ING Discerning Eye exhibition. This is a huge leap for me and would be an utter triumph if it were to be accepted on my first time of asking.  I have been getting in from work and sitting straight down and drawing until around 10 o’clock each night, the work has been incredibly exacting and has been hard at times to stay focused, even more so for me given the name of this blog.  It has however highlighted some deficiencies that I guess can only be addressed by gaining more experience coupled with a healthy curiosity to learn.

Whilst getting the piece framed I came to realise that there are many types of frames and you get what you pay for in terms of tape, backings etc being acid free and the actual quality of the frame itself, this also made me think more about the materials I use in whilst drawing as well, now I’ve always been aware of the quality of what I use to an extent but think I will conduct a lot more research into this and be more choosy about how and where my work is framed.

My photography skills whilst never being brilliant I foolishly thought my fairly new camera could handle this side of things for me – no…I have discovered blurs around the edges, dark, light, dark, light – blue versions of the same drawing – this requires some thought and some work.

I found the actual process of applying for exhibition quite nerve wracking as I have never done it before, filling out the forms, making sure they are correct, making sure the piece is correct in terms of the requirements and then delivering it. I’m quite confident within myself but did wonder whether I’d stick out like a sore thumb to the outwardly arty people (discussed in previous posts) – no, the reality is there are all walks of life trying to exhibit and one size certainly does not fit all, in the end I actually really enjoyed the process and feel it is an achievement just to get that far, if I’m not accepted so be it, I will keep ploughing on, luckily my skin is very thick, my hunger and perseverance are at an all time high and I want this so badly if I am denied I will keep coming back. I expect to be rejected but you simply never know, looking at some of the other work flooding onto the submission desk I felt good about what I do – and that alone was worth the rigmarole of applying.

The pressure that can only come from your peers (when confronted by the work of others) has seemingly opened up a new and fresh train of thought and made my resolve even firmer. With every drawing that passes through my fingers I feel my hand becoming stronger and more sure. I should just say as well that the Discerning Eye application was stupidly easy and I applaud this – just one form and one label along with a £12 fee, I don’t know what other exhibition applications are like but this was a good way to start.

As I was so close to the National Gallery (I parked on Carlton House Terrace) I wandered over there after submitting my work yesterday – it would of been rude not to, and I had put 100 minutes on the meter as an insurance against the unknown entity that was submitting work (I was there 5 minutes) so thought I’d use the time constructively and visit my old friends who have taken residence on these hallowed walls, I gorged on Cézanne, Seurat, Canaletto and many others. Whilst strolling on my own through the halls I realised that I have deep, personal connections with many of the works at the National, so many of the paintings are stitched to different times in my life, I felt a wave of nostalgic passion rush through and overcome me. My favourite room by far is 45, the territory of the (post) impressionists, having stood in front of my favourite painting of all time (a Cézanne landscape) for a good 10 minutes I decided to take a seat just outside that fabled room, above the main stairs I people watch for a while whist absorbing all that was flowing through me – I felt at ease and very at home. Needless to say I was fizzing with new ideas and cursing myself for not having my book with me to record these – schoolboy error.

(The great Paul Cézanne)

If you are reading this sentence thank you for taking your time to read my rambled thoughts and feelings.

Pimping paper

This blog post is being written whilst I am drawing, the huge surge of thoughts and ideas are positively coursing through my veins, I thought it best not to lose these ephemeral thoughts altogether so have decided to jot them down as I go, my hands, my elbows and my fingers ache from sitting almost motionless for hours inches away from my drawing. Here are my thoughts:

So I have been engaged in some of the most intense drawing sessions ever this last week, I now know how deeply involved with what I am doing I get since realising I had been concentrating so hard that I had been gritting my teeth for about two hours – so much so my front teeth all ache.

Getting involved with something as seemingly simple as dots on a piece of paper (the element I’m focussing on at the moment) is a strange thing, whilst slipping into a trance like state I consider what way gives the best and most even finish, if one way of movement injects more life than another, if drawing towards myself uses one side of the brain more as opposed to the other and how it influences my thought – and vice versus.

There’s nothing like a deadline to help me realise just what kind of levels I have begun to work at. Just how massive the tasks I set myself are and how they manage to skew my own space time continuum. How they suck up vast amounts of time into seeming nothingness – this is the process, the result is the supernova of the process. I’m sure this makes no scientific sense whatsoever but to me – to me – I understand it perfectly.

The act of drawing, as I do places enormous stresses on me. Trying to stick to such a rigid studio practice is hard, it’s tough – but when I see that finished piece…when I see it, it makes me feel calm, it makes me feel relieved, it is satisfaction objectified.

I have never felt this hungry to achieve something with my art, I don’t know whether this is inward and personal or outward and career/ life wise – possibly some of both. The passion within me right now burns like a star blazes.

It’s a strange thought to have been working on something that by its nature changes every time I interact with it to feel like I know it so well, I feel like a know every facet, nook and cranny of this drawing as if I were born and bred within its undulating forms. I look forward to seeing the drawing each morning as soon as I wake up and my eyes have adjusted to see what it has become, almost akin to a chrysalis yielding a butterfly, even if no one else agrees with me what I do here gives me immense and unmeasurable pleasure – which I cannot be find anywhere else on the face of this earth. To me what I do is valuable, it is unique and I love it.

In an age where computer appears to be King, where computers can do practically anything, faster and in some eyes better than their human counterparts I question the need for the pursuit of a time consuming craft – in my case drawing – more specifically drawing that is now continuously testing the outer reaches of my skill, my patience and my ambition. The drawings I produce could no doubt be rendered very quickly to a perceived artificial, perfect visual standard, absolute colour, absolute consistency of line, flawless surface – I could continue but I think you get the idea. Whilst all this is true, this seemingly immense beast which is the technological world lacks the human touch. It lacks the empathy displayed intuitively by a thinking, living being. The immense and absolute power of the computer is also its downfall in certain respects.

The colours I lay down on a page, the lines I carefully pull around the paper, the inconsistencies I leave in the wake of the passing pen tip signal to the viewer that this is the work of an imperfect human being, someone that understands good days, bad days and everything in between, someone who understands the sheer joy of creating something with all of its inherent prizes and pitfalls. The computer / printer/ software cannot do this, it cannot rejoice in a mountain climbed, it cannot salivate at the prospect of a new and daunting challenge – or its completion. The human touch in the 21st century I argue is now more important than it ever has been and it follows that hand crafted objects of whatever description should be prized and looked at with an eye that can respect and understand the imperfections of millennia of tradition. I feel very proud to be part of that inherently human tradition.

Thinking about the education of an artist (which can come in many different forms but here, specifically the fine art university route), it is imperative that a degree – with all of the valuable skills learnt whilst studying is used only as a springboard from which the artist MUST propel themselves forward and make the commitment to continue learning and developing. It is all too easy to graduate and not move forward with many elements of ones practice, the loss of stimulation, discussion and interaction of others on leaving a shared studio can be lethal for anyone serious about making artwork beyond degree years. It should be taught (perhaps it is and I never noticed) that it is only the beginning and the vast visual riches that could lay ahead can only be unlocked via considered – and considerable hard work and application of what has already been learnt with an eye to develop and look to the future. Becoming an artist is universes more than simply getting a degree under the umbrella of fine art. It is a lifelong journey.

Thinking about what my drawings are whilst actually drawing allows me to look at them using a different area of the mind – I think. They seem to be intuitive in a sense and also reactive to the other forms around what is being drawn in the present, the interactions between the forms seems to be very important. I want – and have for a long time wanted my drawings to fizz with life, curiosity and a sense of suggestion. The technique I have developed is not the most inherently expressive in terms of the marks being made on the paper (as an example expressive swipes and splats) – the expression for me comes in the culmination of all the elements coming together and creating a visual busyness.
Provenance:
I have been thinking about my process of blogging about my drawings/ progress/ thoughts and feelings etc and have realised it is a great record of the history or a drawing as it shows various stages of completion and for any potential buyers be nice to include snippets of the my blog (and of course the full link) in the parcel when delivering a sale, also I thought a nice idea might be to include a magnifying glass so as to highlight the importance of the detail within the piece. To then be able to view it as I have through its various stages of completion.
Random thought:
Straight off the bat of an incredibly rewarding drawing session today after work and it struck me that all art should be an adventure for the artist – this applies to all types, shapes, sizes and ideas in art, drawing, painting, installation – whatever. The artist should always feel he or she is taking part in an adventure, pushing whatever it is he or she is doing to new limits, constantly learning and seeing more than yesterday.

The pictures in this post is the latest stage of my drawing. Good, bad or indifferent I’d love to hear what you think.

Whilst having a few thoughts after work a couple of days ago today regarding the mountain of work still in front of me in this drawing I started to question whether I had bitten off more than I can chew?  Whether time constraints (i.e. as I cannot devote my entire day to producing and sinking my teeth into my work and only being able to steal windows of time) coupled with an extremely time consuming way of working was actually costing too much in terms of time versus my real life artistic output.  This was whirling round and round in my mind.  The fact is for what I consider a very intricate piece I am effectively committing months of my studio time to one piece, knowing full well it would take considerably less time if I was practicing full time.

Now, taking all this into consideration I then put down my pen and reflected upon this and instantly came to this conclusion:

Take what you can, when you can, unconditionally love what you do, remember that every mark made is a step forward and the mountain that you have to climb becomes smaller, even the smallest amount of time spent is time spent well and can work wonders for a frustrated mental state of mind.