Almost two weeks since my last update. In this time I have decided to make my drawings several sizes larger than they currently are (in average paper terms). This is partly due to the fact that I always envisioned them being a much larger scale and operating on the basis that the viewer would be drawn in and then begin to see some of the detail work that is only visible close up. I still hold this to be an attractive proposition and think it is a great way of enjoying a piece of artwork – the element of surprise – of sorts. So my work post degree shrunk to a manageable sketchbook size, I then became lazy – rather life got in the way – same shit, different person story of someone getting caught up in day to day life, and ended in treating drawing as an escape and not a serious artistic pursuit, cutting a long story short this has since changed in a pretty big way and I am now pushing myself further and further with each piece with a consistency I have not known since graduating and flying the institutional nest.
To quote the great Vincent Van Gogh:
“I long so much to make beautiful things. But beautiful things require effort—and disappointment and perseverance.”
So true on many, many levels, all of the above I have now accepted as part of even attempting to make something worthwhile, something of value – and I don’t mean financial, I mean personally, intellectually, visually. Always taking the next step and discovering where it leads me. I’ve always considered my work to be very slow in its evolution but in hindsight I’m not so sure that this still rings true. I have seen some seismic shifts in not only the aesthetic but the intent in what I do. Perhaps this thought has triggered the need to actually take an overview of the last few years and see what and how things have changed?
Moving to more philosophical issues. The act of drawing…mark making. In my world, my practice, this means placing marks onto a sheet of paper and constructing one whole. It means a sequence of marks that combine, integrate and inform one another to manifest as organic looking forms which work to present my “sensations” to the viewer (to paraphrase Paul Cézanne). I think drawing is really is a transformative process in a decorative sense at least in that via a simple sheet of paper and a pen or a pencil an artist begins to enhance, change and mould the appearance of the paper. Exerting his or her will, ideas, thoughts and feelings onto it. I like the thought that a drawing holds history, can be visually dissected with inspection and it is this that can transport the viewer into the drawing and their own cerebral realms.
All of this is speculation and opinion I suppose, one thing I do know though for sure is that there is real joy, real pain to be had in creation.
Thank you for reading.
So since my last update a drawing of mine has now reached New York, to then be shipped onto Florida. It’s a strange feeling to know that something I have carefully looked after and spent a lot of time creating is now out of my care and thousands of miles away (hopefully still in perfect condition). I know people sell their art all the time and it’s no big deal but for me – at this point it is huge. For anyone interested I have been a member of a site called Artfinder which I have always found to be okay. The work varies on the site in terms of quality and depth – and price but I have found it a nice way to start off. And people actually look at what your doing, it also feels quite friendly also. I would recommend it to anyone thinking about starting to attempt to sell work.
Onto things slightly more thoughtful now, whilst reading a World War Two book a few days ago I read a line that mentioned a commander modelling an attack or some kind of plan on an historical that bore similarities to his current situation. Anyway, this got me thinking about life drawing, sculptors working from life etc…naturally I wondered how this applied to my own (inherently abstract) practice. First thought – it doesn’t. Second thought, actually it does – in a big way, not just to me either – but to everyone within the arts. Working from a model needn’t be from actual life, a model or a landscape – it is an idea or a goal that whatever it is your doing wants to achieve or spring from. Something that your practice can centre around or the spirit in which you work. Definitely nothing profound there but a worthwhile thought nonetheless.
Whilst doing my degree it was always very important to have a direction, what and why are you doing this? Explain, explain, explain. I guess it is in a lot of ways and in a sense it separates different practitioners. Whilst this is great for focussing creative attention it also serves to limit exploration as well. I have come to learn through years of working alone that anything that stimulates or takes your interest is a valid stepping stone or springboard. Creative freedom is so important in keeping yourself interested and engaged through what can be a hard struggle to keep on producing work with what sometimes seems there is no progression – apart from what goes on in a sketchbook (or drawings to be stored away). My advice is do what ever the fuck makes you happy and keeps you working (I probably wouldn’t take advice from me).
As is always thanks for reading – if anyone ever actually does!
I am very happy to report I have made a sale today – to an American chap no less. To say I am over the moon is an understatement. I promise that I am not gloating about my modest transaction – just ecstatically happy about it. A strange thought to think that a piece of my work is going to be crossing the Atlantic tomorrow.
As some of you may know I work full time and have a busy home life, I practice my craft as much as is possible at this point within my life and to receive a small showing of validation is incredible…it has given me a glimpse of what I desire as a life choice, what I work for in the evenings and at weekends, or stealing sketchbook time whilst in stationary/ standstill traffic (I don’t condone anything other than safe driving) or why I write this blog sometimes at stupid o’clock at night as have ran out of time. The desire to be an artist, to create, to think, to explore…I need say no more.
To some this is a small event, an everyday event – but for me it is a game changer, it has further solidified my resolve and hardened my ambition.
So I have been looking and reading today at one of my favourite artists – the incredible Van Gogh.
His natural touch with the paint and just how he managed to convey, no communicate and load such passion into his work is amazing. Far from being a lunatic that painted in a frenzy he was calculating and clever and for me helped to rip open the doors into the modern world.
Anyway this helped me to positively question what I was doing whilst considering Vincent’s precarious instability and crushingly claustrophobic self doubt. In particular whilst comparing Vincent’s work to that of Paul Signac (a contemporary of sorts of Van Gogh). The difference in the work is astounding, check it out sometime. Believe me it is a great way of looking objectively at art. This made me realise in fact that what I do makes sense to me and I believe in it. I deal with the world via the very small. Small marks, small coloured areas that combine to make a mass, a whole. This – for me at least is a metaphor for just about everything, nature, the earth, the cosmos…everything. Sometimes I question where my work is going but I think as long as I remain happy and fulfilled with what I do my role as an artist is to just constantly explore the visual language I have developed and see where it goes. What could be better? In recent drawings I have been using colour in almost a completely random way. Now as a means of developing my use of colour I have begun to dust of my undergraduate knowledge of colour theory. This has long been a tricky area for me as I am colour blind and therefore pretty much avoided colour in all of my drawings, happy to explore the inherent qualities of black and white line. Now I want to push my own (maybe self imposed) boundaries. So with this in mind I have embraced my poor colour vision and will explore colours that are bright, colours that will hopefully vibrate when nestled together to further convey the vague musings I have around the natural world.
Recently I have been working on a piece that has consumed so much time and has been so labour intensive that every time I thought I had finished, the doubt flooded back like acid rain eroding a sandstone statue. The piece was originally envisioned as being only black and white but whilst in the process of its drawing I suddenly had an unexpected explosion of fluorescent colour, which as you can probably appreciate changed the direction of the creative wind somewhat. This change occurred not so much in the piece in question but as a result of sketchbook book ramblings and other smaller, less realised drawings. This obviously presented options and issues that were not necessarily there when embarking on this piece.
So the situation is one of to and fro, one minute no colour – finished piece, the next, I should explore the colour option and push the drawing to its limits (in my view). So I have made photocopies of the drawing and and am in the process of colouring it. Still no further in terms on of conclusively deciding or not which is extremely frustrating but I shall perservere. I can see the colour option being used but I see it as a big risk as the drawing could potentially be ruined and a lot of time has already been sunk into it…even writing that last sentence I think I know I have to take the risk. Being precious with work is not a good idea when at a stage that is all about development and looking for other avenues of investigation.
This has been as I say very frustrating but not without its indirect fruits, I have begun to learn just how much colour can influence and change a drawing – and this from a colour blind artist. I have learnt to accept colour as part of my work that before I saw as territory forbidden to me as I have how can I put this – a quirky sense of colour to say the least.
Taking on a full scale colour test of an intricately drawn piece of work is quite demanding in the fact that you know you’ll probably end up doing it all again on the finished article. People have suggested using a computer for the purposes of speed but I prefer the craft element of what I am all about. The grass roots of any kind of skill one desires to possess. It’s the workings behind the scenes as it were that enables a song to be sung or a dance, acrobatic routine to be nailed and honed to its finest possible level. This is what interests me.
As a colour blind artist I know that I can ne era understand and see the subtleties of colour like someone with normal colour vision (what is normal I hear you shout?). So I have decided to utilise colour as I am most comfortable – bright, vibrant and fluorescent colours as seen in everyday culture with which we are saturated with. Bright brand names, adverts, even modern architecture using colour to make an impact.
Within the scope of my own work it almost creates a dichotomy in that most of what I draw and am interested in is the natural world. The colours I use are patently not natural. So it has become a comment on the mixing of the natural and maybe the historical against the present day accessibility of practically everything. This is of course in stark contrast to when the world was a far bigger place in terms of communication, travel and pretty much every other endeavour being a bigger challenge – one example is the colour in paintings, blues and golds representing expense and wealth, showing one belongs in the higher echelons of society – nowadays it blue is widely available and perhaps too much Gould and you look like a gaudy mess.
How times change…
If you have got this far into the ramblings of the confused fool that lurks beneath my skin – I thank you. I still feel every bit as privileged to be of a creative disposition as I ever have done and love the excitement, thought and expectation of what could lay ahead.
