i forget to be proud of what i’ve acheived.
this was a realisation while walking to the shop this morning to buy more milk for coffee.
i quickly mused about adding a blog post.
my realisation came from connecting with an old work colleague on linkedin. i was pleased to see that he had started lecturing 3 years ago as well as doing the stuff that i knew him for 14 years ago. what if he looked at my profile? i’ve acheived a lot, although i’m aware that within me is a resonance that struggles to find harmonics around me.
when harmonics are found however, they are strong.
i’m also aware that while on the move, the harmonics i seek are blurry.
while i feel strong this doesn’t matter to me very much but i soon become weak and my mental agility is tested greatly and all feels dark. i reach for something to enlighten and the sequence begins again.
so why was the colleague’s lecturing so important? because it resonates with my need to be developing, evolving, learning.
something i’ve learnt recently is i’m not arthur pita. sounds an obvious thing but i didn’t know this until i saw work by him. in being aware of not being arthur pita, i see that i do not have his connections, skill and vision. i do however have my own skill vision and connections and with those can be playful and enjoy myself. this again sounds easy, however within me i carry subconscious constructs that challenge my ability to be me in my playful self.
in being playful and myself, it requires me to be courageous and brave to ignore the inner feelings eminating from the construct that i shouldn’t be doing this.
there’s only one way for me to break through this and that is to be playful, to do things / make things that i enjoy and make me feel good.
my personal development is more important than the professional construct.
may be what i see now is that my personal development is my professional development with a defining characteristic being that my professional development is defined by money.
i have a plan for personal development that leads me to money. i over look this at times as at times i maybe forget the self belieft that i can do it.
when i look at what i’ve achieved since graduating i see that i should believe in myself (despite all the disabling factors ) and work towards acheiving that that i want to acheive … … … as i can do it.
within this video is a reference to the asch conformity experiment.
