professional development

somewhere on line i’ve already commented about martin adams’ musings on his second world darts championship win. today i think again about what he said about first learning to lose being an important part of being a winner. he’d heard rees say the same thing many years earlier.

of late i’ve been considering if i’ve been going through a cultural equivelent of adams’ sporting experience. if so, what have i lost? that’s an interesting question outside of competitive context. in a cultural context it’s not so much as losing but gaining experience.

i’ve gained an insite into the advantages of the formal art space as outside of that space the priorities of the space managers are more important than of the cultural exponent. if the space manager’s interests and priorities can include the cultural proposition then there can be so common ground on which to stand.

i’ve gained an insite about how the formal art space provides a focus of emotion in the face of completion. today i think i’ve completed a journey of an idea that i began with nearly 8 years ago. having punctuated the journey with what today i see as a completion, this afternoon i feel an emptinesss or downness that would be filled with a gathering in a formal art space. maybe what i should do is make a massive public statement about it and demand attention in a pub somewhere so i can receive the adoration that i personally believe that i need as a result of making the work.

so what of the work? it exists on the world wide web as i believe this to be democratic. it’s titled ” an art experiment ” as i don’t know what outcomes of the work will be. the work requires to be engaged with so that the intention of the work can be realised. the engagement is anonomously recorded on social media channels dedicated to the work. i’d like to think that this work takes me a little closer to be able to say when talking about my practice that it’s an engaged practice.

the enagement section of the work can be found at http://andrewmartynsugars.me

a foot note to the democratic nature of the work has to be made relative to mobile devices. these devices are technically unable to show the work and so those viewing the work will be shown something else instead. of course this of now technical limitation does keep the door of development opportunity open for a solution that works on all browsers and all devices. for now my democratic ideal has a limitation.

there was a clue in the name of the recent meeting in birmingham that i was slow to pick up on…….. co-development.

for me the development is coming in relation to “engaged practice.” at the meeting i actually asked “what is socially engaged practice?”

i have to overcome a preconception that socially engaged practice is a vehicle to voice personal anxiety connected to mainstream attitudes within a societal construct.

what i think i need to concentrate on is how engaged practice could give me a bounded space in which to work.

while in conversation at birmingham it stuck me that i am in some way not fully utilising the information that a-n- works to make available. for example i have somehow been over looking the forums.

i have not been fully using the knowledge bank.

in helping myself to find a boundary for my practice i’ve found this article on a-n- www.a-n.co.uk/p/84628/

it talks about engaged practice and i am going to make time to read it and take on board what it says.

i don’t mind admitting that i have been unsure for quite sometime now where i fit in within artistic practice theories. this has affected my ability and confidence in mediating myself in the public sphere and as a result have maybe become a little too enigmatic and reclusive.

if i am going to have a sustainable practice i know that i need to know where i fit in. by this i mean that i recognise that the human animal is very cautious about it’s bounded space, ie those making the opportunities know what they are looking for.

i can go on making opportunities for myself. this is exciting and rewarding however what it requires is to be able to mediate quickly that space in which my idea exsists and hope that i can pitch it into some space that the listener relates to.

in birmingham i heard of the theatre in a retail outlet. i’m so sorry but i can’t remember where or who is running that project. i really enjoyed hearing about it and found it quite inspiring.

in developing my professional practice i continue to develop at a personal level. the two are connected and at times get out of sync with each other and i become unhappy. i continue to strive to find a happy syncronisation.

i once again turn to the motorcycle racer, striving for a set up that allows for the fastest most smoothest rhythm around the circuit.

this feeling of a flowing rhythm over rides the recent feeling associated with football where i was convinced that i was in a mid league one position but mentally had projected myself into a mid way premier league position. this conflict of where i thought i was with where i feel i am has been rather draining. i prefer the motorcycle racer image to the football image. i notice that while feeling down i used a metaphor that reflected my mental position.

the engaged practice thinking puts me back on my bike. it gives me space in which to propose a project based on an omnipresent yet invisible question.

i feel more inspired than i have for a while.

i remember claus oldenbach’s proposal for nelson’s column, a giant gear lever, proposed and maybe never intented to actually be made, simply discussed.

engaged practice…. it might be the “something” that has been missing …

i’m returning to a thread of research with a renewed idea about what i’m doing

do i want to be lowly in the top flight or doing slightly better in the next division down.

with the news of the striker wanting to leave, how does it affect the plans going forward?

being invited to think forward… i enjoyed that.

i went to the recent a-n- organised meeting in Birmingham.

i’d like to be at more of this type of event. it helps me to see what is happening now. it’s very uplifting to be amongst people who lean to the amazing as opposed to being oppressed by how everything is dire right now.

part of the discussion i was in was to do with an audience for art. maybe there is a capitalist and post capitalist way of considering the audience. the capitalist way being that it’s up to them to get what “i’m” doing and if they don’t then i have to go out of my way to make them. this is of course assuming that a league table position is being ignored, as that makes a big difference to this attitude. the post capitalist way might be to allow the audience to see the work for what it is, to be confident in the use of the everyday language in talking about the conception and the making of the work.

and being respectful at all times.

on a table laid with 5 types of biscuits, will you like all of them, will you prefer one over another…

i beleive in post capitalist thinking. it’s something that not all will get, in the similar vain to the biscuit argument.

in whispered corners they speak of the scrum, they speak of the pressure, the contact and the intensity.

to the right the blues, to the left the reds. they’ve been locked in pressured momentum waiting for something to be put in from the outside. convention dictates that the pressure pre put in is balanced, measured and controlled.

the hookers arm gestures and the push begins.

what then happens is something that one really needs to be involved with to be able to write about and understand it.

in the last few days i’ve experienced the scrummage at readiness in my mind. to one side the pre-application, to the other the ma interview result.

last night the whistle blew as one side pulled the scrum down prior to the ball being introduced. with it collapsing the aftermath provided me with something new to consider.

today the reds and the blues ready themselves to line up again, prior to the the invitation to touch.

as they set to engage again i can only hope that the pressure i’ve experienced in the last few days is less intense and sometime soon a piece of news is put into the middle for me to try and move forward with again.

is this a stop

a pause

or something else.