Yesterday afternoon I received an email letting me know that my funding application has been approved – I am going to receive project funding from Uppsala City. I am very excited and more than a little surprised by the news! Just a few weeks ago something cropped up in conversation with another artist (other artists? … I can’t quite remember) about funding and I re-read my application – which had been submitted at least a month prior – I remember feeling a little disappointed in myself that the application wasn’t more concise … expansive … focused … professional … thorough … At the Christmas dinner last week P, who works for the city council’s culture department, mentioned that they had read my application … I felt a little awkward and embarrassed … had I revealed how ill equipped I am to write such applications? I had written in Swedish hadn’t I … ? … and I didn’t have anyone proofread it … Well it seems that my passion for the project must have shone through!
I am very excited because I wrote ’from the heart’ … I was honest about my interests and intentions while being clear that I didn’t know know what the outcome would be – perhaps an exhibition, perhaps a performance, perhaps a website.
I am very excited because it really is a process and research driven project … the outcome(s) will be what they need to be.
I am very excited because receiving the funding will focus my attention and time … I have to do the project now – and that is fantastic … because it is a project that needs doing – not only for my own sake but also for the city’s since it illuminates aspects of the city’s cultural and lgbti+ history that are currently unacknowledged to say the least.
… so 2024 will see me re-engage with Following Eugène – the new chapter (for which I have received the funding) takes as it’s starting point the painting(s) that Eugène Jansson exhibited in the 1907 Uppsala Spring Exhibition – the first of his ’naked athletes’.
I am going to get on with the project just as soon as I have delivered by work to the 2024 Stockholm Spring Exhibition!
I am at the studio wondering how I will manage to do everything that I want to do today: two video calls/meetings, an opening, a magazine (final edition) release, a Christmas dinner (where I need to be at the venue early in order to give out tickets that the artists’ club has bought for the committee and others). All that I really want to to do is potter about the studio!
… I forgot something else … I want to make a prototype box for transporting the tie drapes to the exhibition. I would really like to get this done today as I am working three days next week (and have meetings at on least two evenings) and then it’s Christmas … I have been invited to friends which is lovely but it means that I need to make something to bring to the table and get some ’token’ presents … I also have to get a tree and do grocery shopping for myself.
The new job is going well, though to be honest I miss not being in control of my schedule … it’s something that I will have to get used to as ’my schedule’ does not generate income. I listened to an artist’s talk the other evening while washing up – it was kind of ’advice for young artists’ … there was lots of encouragement, and good emphasis put on finding one’s own voice and making conscious decisions about how to be the artist that you want to be … I found myself questioning (again) whether I have ever really given myself the chance to be the kind of artist that I want to be … a particularly pertinent question as I start a new job after only four months of what should have been a year long sabbatical. The economic reality is that those four months were sufficient to demonstrate that without significant additional earnings the savings that I have would not last the year … and those significant additional earnings are not only not guaranteed they are seemingly less feasible. None of us working for Supermarket may get the same the fee as last year – the fair received a 40% cut in its core funding – very worrying indeed.
So while I would like to be a studio artist who sells work, gets both public and private commissions, does a bit of guest lecturing, and is selected for museum shows, I have to accept that that boat may well have left the habour.
What can I do to increase my sense of ,at the very least, being heading in a meaningful (to me) direction?
- Recognise that the part-time job provides sufficient basic income, I need to start seeing other ’opportunities’ (to earn) as threats to my own practice and I need to prioritise time in the studio.
- Learn to say no! And limit the amount of time that I give to unpaid work/projects.
- Set some goals for the coming year, and have a five year plan.
So now to get on with the day …
