This is turning out to be quite an adventure … I should have been arriving in Stockholm at just about now.  Instead I am sitting at Malmö Central waiting with a frightening expensive train ticket for the 15:07 to Stockholm.  My second, or perhaps more accurately third, attempt at slow travel has not gone well – it has cost me dearly in both time and money.

 

The train to Berlin was pretty good.  My main concern on that journey was my recently expired passport.  Thankfully travelling within mainland Europe it caused no more than some anxious hours as we approached the Danish German border – nothing happened.

 

The same can not be said of the return leg.  I arrived at Berlin Central in good time for the 21:10 departure on Monday evening, I was initially concerned that the 21:10 to Mälmo was cancelled but then reassured to see that a 21:10 to Stockholm was still on the departure board.  The information was confusing to say the least the Stockholm train has to pass through Malmö … but who was I to question the logics and logistics of international rail travel.  The train did not appear … Berlin should have been it’s point of origin … perhaps just a little delayed? … at about 21:25 the train simply disappeared from the departure board.  I and several others on the platform started to look around nervously – not staff to be seen anywhere.  We asked each other if anyone knew what was happening – no one did.  We, six of us, ran to the information desk where my German speaking friend tried to find out what was happening … no everything was in order the train had left at 21:10.  Everything was not in order and the train had neither arrived nor left at 21:10 not unless there was a secret platform alternation.

 

We were advised to run for the fast train to Hamburg where we would make the connection with the train that we should have caught in Berlin.  Leaving my friend – and our only German speaker – the five of us travellers jumped on the Hamburg train with barely a minute to spare.  My travelling companions: a bright young Finnish (byf) student on her way home from visiting a friend in Toulousse, a Danish mother and teenage daughter heading home after a short trip to Rome, and a reserved international exchange student making his way back to college after a break.  They were all on Inter-rail tickets.  I was not.

 

As we pull into Hamburg we are delighted to hear them announce the immanently, but manageable, departure of the Stockholm train.  We make our way to the appropriate platform 23:59 comes and goes – no Stockholm train.  What now?  The byf quickly found a string of seperate trains that would get us to the various stations that we required, but it would be an hour or two on a train here, an hour’s wait there, a nine minute change somewhere else.  No chance of ever catching up with the what turned out to be the early departing train from Berlin.  Eventually I found a discrete line of text on the train companies website that mentioned that trains departing Berlin 1 – 7 April would depart 19:59 rather than 21:10.  I except the train operated by Snälltåget and not the German rail network was beyond the German networks control but surely Snälltåget should have both informed those us with tickets (they have all our contact information including mobile phone numbers), and the German rail network that they are operating a different timetable. Apparently not!

 

Did I mention that our merry band of travellers picked up about another 15 lost souls on the platform in Hamburg?  None aware of any change in timetable.  Some decided to find a hotel in Hamburg, others accompanied us along various stages of the route north … we still had a fair portion of Germany and a great deal of Denmark to cross.

 

So after many changes and a replacement bus service the byf  and I arrive in Mälmö.  Up till this point we have not been required to purchase any additional tickets or pay any supplements.  Things change in Sweden we are both required to by tickets for the Swedish Intercity service – never cheap, especially not last minute.  The byf had a night ferry to catch in Stockholm so took the one remaining seat on the 13:07, I took the almost last seat on the 15:07.  Of course there is no sign of Snälltåget here, and there phone number just rings.  There is a later train to Stockholm operated by them but there is no guarantee that I could get that – my ticket is no longer valid and there is no way to see if it fully booked or not.

 

In less than three weeks time one of the Supermarket meetings will be about slow travel.  I was thinking how relevant this trip would be to the discussion … it certainly will be now though for rath

This is turning out to be quite an adventure … I should have been arriving in Stockholm at just about now.  Instead I am sitting at Malmö Central waiting with a frightening expensive train ticket for the 15:07 to Stockholm.  My second, or perhaps more accurately third, attempt at slow travel has not gone well – it has cost me dearly in both time and money.

 

The train to Berlin was pretty good.  My main concern on that journey was my recently expired passport.  Thankfully travelling within mainland Europe it caused no more than some anxious hours as we approached the Danish German border – nothing happened.

 

The same can not be said of the return leg.  I arrived at Berling Central in good time for the 21:10 departure on Monday evening, I was initially concerned that the 21:10 to Mälmo was cancelled but then reassured to see that a 21:10 to Stockholm was still on the departure board.  The information was confusing to say the least the Stockholm train has to pass through Malmö … but who was I to question the logics and logistics of international rail travel.  The train did not appear … Berlin should have been it’s point of origin … perhaps just a little delayed? … at about 21:25 the train simply disappeared from the departure board.  I and several others on the platform started to look around nervously – not staff to be seen anywhere.  We asked each other if anyone knew what was happening – no one did.  We, six of us, ran to the information desk where my German speaking friend tried to find out what was happening … no everything was in order the train had left at 21:10.  Everything was not in order and the train had neither arrived nor left at 21:10 not unless there was a secret platform alternation.

 

We were advised to run for the fast train to Hamburg where we would make the connection with the train that we should have caught in Berlin.  Leaving my friend – and our only German speaker the five of us travellers jumped on the Hamburg train with barely a minute to spare.  My travelling companions: a bright young Finnish student on her way home from visiting a friend in Toulousse, a Danish mother and teenage daughter heading home after a short trip to Rome, and a reserved international exchange student making his way back to college after a break.  They were all on Inter-rail tickets.  I was not.

 

As we pull into Hamburg we are delighted to hear them announce the immanently, but manageable, departure of the Stockholm train.  We make our way to the appropriate platform 23:59 comes and goes – no Stockholm train.  What now?  The bright Fin quickly found a string of seperate trains that would get us to the various stations that we required, but it would be an hour or two on a train here, an hour’s wait there, a nine minute change somewhere else.  No chance of ever catching up with the what turned out to be the early departing train from Berlin.  Eventually I found a discrete line of text on the train companies website that mentioned that trains departing Berlin 1 – 7 April would depart 19:59 rather than 21:10.  I except the train operated by Snälltåget and not the German rail network was beyond the German networks control but surely Snälltåget should have both informed those us with tickets (they have all our contact information including mobile phone numbers), and the German rail network that they are operating a different timetable. Apparently not!

 

Did I mention that our merry band of travellers picked up about another 15 lost souls on the platform in Hamburg?  None aware of any change in timetable.  Some decided to find a hotel in Hamburg, others accompanied us along various stages of the route north … we still had a fair portion of Germany and a great deal of Denmark to cross.

 

So after many changes and a replacement bus service the byf (bright young fin) and I arrive in Mälmö.  Up till this point we have not been required to purchase any additional tickets or pay any supplements.  Things change in Sweden we are both required to by tickets for the Swedish Intercity service – never cheap, especially not last minute.  The byf had a night ferry to catch in Stockholm so took the one remaining seat on the 13:07, I took the almost last seat on the 15:07.  Of course there is no sign of Snälltåget here, and there phone number just rings.  There is a later train to Stockholm operated by them but there is no guarantee that I could get that – my ticket is no valid and there is no way to see if it fully booked or not. 

 

In less than three weeks time one of the Supermarket meetings will be about slow travel.  I was thinking how relevant this trip would be to the discussion … it certainly will be now though for rather different reasons.  The enitre trip by train has now cost considerably more than double – probably three times – what it would have by air.  My trip from Malmö to Stockhollm alone costs 25% more than if I had gone to Hamburg airport and taken a flight early this morning!

 

For the moment slow travel remains a nice idea but simply isn’t viable economically nor it seems logistically.  In a worst case scenario being forced to overnight in an airport is a considerably more attractive option than trying to find somewhere warm to wait an hour in a small German town at 04:30 on a cold April morning.

 

I am incredibly and undescribably grateful for my travelling companions – without them I would probably be a nervous wreck wandering Hamburg central station.  

 

 

 


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I understand that what one never had one can’t lose … but it feels as though I have lost something … namely an artist’s working grant of about £10,000.  I dared to dream that this might be my year to get one of the awards – several thousand are given out every year – but once again I am left feeling crushed and more than a little defeated.

 

Only two artists in the Uppsala region received grants – one of whom I know and there is no question that she deserves it, the other artist’s name isn’t one that I recognise but I shall certainly do a search and see what they are doing.  Uppsala is Sweden’s fourth largest city with a good if not exactly vibrant art-scene … what are we – yes we – doing wrong?  Are we victims of being in close proximity to Stockholm … the thinking being that if we were serious about being artists we’d obviously move there, it is only 40 minutes away after all.  Are we guility of not being sufficiently engaged in contemporary practice and debate – there’s not art school here and the level of critical discussion is embarrassingly low.  Are we simply out of context … neither sufficiently urban nor rurally remote enough to be interesting?

 

It would be interesting to see all the Uppsala artists who applied (fulfilled that criteria in case) and were rejected … what do we do? … is it really so uninteresting?  Even discounting the recent recipients in Uppsala – five last year, two the year before – there are a good few artists consistently producing good work and actively contributing to the art scene both here and further a field.

 

This rejection comes after a few successes which makes it seem somehow harsher.  If it was just another in a long line of rejections it would be more expected.  I dared to think that with the big project in Västmanland last year, the Spring Exhibition, and the Uppsala project funding, that my fortunes were changing.  I guess that this is a reminder that I can’t take things for granted!

 

It makes me especially glad that I have my new (can I still call it ’new’?) job.  If I didn’t have that I would be looking at an empty savings account and no choice but a return to Enköping – a position that I realise now was not very good for me at all.  

 

I am almost literally counting the days until the Artists’ Clubs’ annual general meeting – at which I step down as chair, meaning that I regain a great deal of both time and energy … mostly energy if I am honest, though the time I have given to the club is not inconsiderable.  It is going to be such a relief to hand it over to someone who is not only far more capable but has the distinct advantage of being a native Swedish speaker … in fact a fair portion of their capability in this capacity has do do with language.  I have found it incredibly tiring, frustrating, and demanding trying to understand and chair complex discussions involving eleven opinionated artists in my second langauge.  I know that all of the committee like and respect me but their frustration is also evident … especially towards the end of what regularly turn into three hour meetings – partly due my inability to quickly grasp the subject and reflect our options back to the group.

 

Not wishing to disregard the coming (and much anticipated) summer it won’t be long until it’s time to submit an application for next year’s round of artists’ grants, I wonder if no longer being on the Artists’ Club committee will put me in a better position to make a successful application.  Only time will tell …

 

 


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Something has shifted. I can’t say exactly what … or why … but something definitely feels different. Perhaps it is to do with my immanent stepping down as chair of the artists’ club, or perhaps it is to do with the immanent arrival of spring … perhaps it doesn’t really matter if I can identify the what and why or not.

On Thursday I sent a few emails to some galleries and konsthalls (council funding public galleries) introducing myself and expressing my interest in exhibiting, collaborating on projects, and contributing to their programmes. I kept it brief, included an image of my work in the Spring Exhibition together with a link to my website, and an open invitation to visit the studio. I can’t imagine that any of the galleries or konsthalls have already heard of me so no matter the outcome I have lost nothing and potentially might have won something – some kind of recognition.

It felt good to do something positive … something that polite artists ’shouldn’t do’ …perhaps that’s it – the thing that has shifted … I’ve reached the limit of being polite … or at least polite in situations that do not warrant it. ’Polite’ is perhaps not exactly right … more like deference … I have reached the limit of deference … inappropriate deference. I am tired of feeling inferior, unimportant, ignored, unworthy, and unequal.

 

 

I started writing this post on Saturday morning … it is now Wednesday morning and I am at the studio readying myself for another day at the computer writing the 2023 annual report for the artists’ club. I would much rather be working on the new chapter of Following Eugène … especially having seen Conny Karlson Lundberg’s beautiful show ’I Kiss Your Eyes’ (Jag kysser dina ögon). His work combines historical, contemporary, personal, and cultural narratives in works that are both poetic and political. His parred down aesthetic invites engagement that unfolds and rewards as it teases out lives lead across different times and countries.

What kind of artist do I want to be? That familiar, and as yet unanswered, question rears up again. Seeing Karlsson Lundberg’s show reminded me that there are ways of be being an artist that defy easy classification, that perhaps create their identity as they the work evolves …

… so I guess that I had better get on and make work

 

 

 


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This afternoon I got some simple advice on how I might capitalise (not sure I am completely with my choice of word) on being in Liljevalchs Vårsalong. I should identify some commercial galleries that I am interested in working with and in a few sentences present myself and ask if they are interested in working/collaborating with me.

There are a few galleries in Stockholm that I like … that I pay attention to and visit when I am in town. There are also some that I pay less attention to but that for some reason appeal to me. I need to do some more research into those to see what kind of artists they are already working with, and see if I can work out how they work with their artists.

I should also identify and approach some non-commercial galleries – council and ’foundation’ funded ones rather than artist-run.

Writing this I think that it might be a good idea to return to the show this week and take some better … more useable … photographs.

 

I am still thinking through my reaction(s) to a critic’s lazy and disrespectful comment aimed at me and several other exhibitors * – that we have merely copied other artists/artworks. His comments are actually disrespectful to the selectors too – suggesting that they didn’t see the implied plagiarism (that is to say that the selectors are not as well informed as he is), and by extension weren’t up to the job. The thing that niggles at me is that this is not the only case of such poor … ignorant …criticism that has been made about particular pieces in the exhibition. I am thinking of a specific instance, made by a different critic, which at best could be called misjudged and at worst blatant racism.

Before I posted my response to the critic’s words on my Facebook and Instagram accounts I wrote to him directly at the online magazine that he directs and publishes and where his review appears. I concluded my letter by inviting him to get in touch. So far he has not … and to be honest I do not expect him to do that. Doing so would be too large admission of culpability.

I shall, when appropriate, continue to refer to this in conversations and discussions regarding how one’s work can be so inaccurately assessed by someone who certainly should know better.

The incident has also made me realise that I should never underestimate someone’s … anyone’s … ability to miss what is actually right in front of them. I am pretty sure that I have mis-read other artists’ work, or not given it the time that it required to make more than a cursory judgement. The difference is that I am not then putting in this print. I think that it was while studying and then working with David Barrett and Lucy Head that I learned something very important – if you don’t have time to make an informed comment then don’t make a comment at all. Neither David nor Lucy ever said this outright … they didn’t need to because they simply embodied it and for that learning I am very grateful.

 

 

*the article is Swedish so here’s a translation of the closing paragraph:

A peculiarity of the Spring Exhibition 2024 is the number of participants who more or less shamelessly choose to get close to other artists’ works/expressions. Postmodernism’s credo of art as a source of art is celebrating a belated triumph, where the artists – with their current soul mate in parentheses – Stuart Mayes (Charlotte Walentin), Linus Bronge (Helene Schjerfbeck), Anders Ekblom (Ola Billgren), Æsa Saga Ardal (Meret Oppenheim), Anna Clarén (Tuija Lindström), Frank Bruzelius (Tom of Finland) and Susanne Bonja (Kristina Jansson) casually flirt with both older and newer art history. Perhaps this is what the multifaceted Art Sweden 2024 really looks like: an aesthetic smorgasbord where originality and uniformity are not mutually exclusive.

 

 

 


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So what do I do now? How do I make the most of being in a very hyped exhibition? The new gallery director together with very media savvy colleagues, selectors, and curators have certainly created a great deal of interest and enthusiasm … they have re-invigorated the Spring Exhibition – the headline in yesterday’s ’other’ broadsheet: Is the Spring Exhibition Becoming Cool? My work is one of several accompanying the article!

Not only that but my work appears in short report in the culture news on the national tv channel!

And literally as I am writing my ’Google alert’ let me know that my work is in another paper: Ålands Newspaper.

My mind is racing …

 

 

 

 


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