An email from an artist with a studio at wip:sthlm reminded me that I haven’t mentioned the outcome of my PhD application. I didn’t make the short list. I also didn’t get a place on the Professional Artists’ Project Programme. Wrtiting both these things feels bad, not just because I didn’t get the places but because it goes against my intention to focus this blog on positive things. At the same time I don’t want to censor what I write (any more than I have to!).
The process of writing the PhD application was useful in itself. It certainly suggests a positive direction and way forward for me to pursue (albeit outside of an academic context). I have to admit the idea for the other programme was a bit forced and probably didn’t come across very well at all.
In two weeks time I’ll be back in London (I’m risking mentioning another thiing that I’m less than positive about). I hope that I can quickly resolve the outstanding issue with the replacement windows and tidy the place up for a quick sale. It’ll be strange to be back in London and not have a studio there – I’ve had various studios for the 15 years I’ve lived there.
I’m posting a couple of pictures I took when I delivered my work to Charlie’s gallery. When I downloaded them from my camera I found a few pictures I’d taken at the British Museum where I met a friend after leaving the gallery. It both amused and upset me that the British Museum shop had a 3-4-2 promotion. It seemed particularly odd as the promotion was for silk scarves or silk ties at £30 each (and it didn’t appear to be a mix’n’match type deal). Standing there it felt like I was in a branch of Tie-Rack* rather than the British Museum.
*or whatever the equivalent shop is called these days.
Tonight an artist friend from London, who has residence here at Malongen Studio, is holding his first Salon Malongen. He’s invited artists to bring along work, wine and nibbles ….
Hazard Perception (part ii) opened this week. Which means that this time last week I was just back from a very brief trip to London. It was good to see Charlie again. My work is in the gallery window and looks good (I think!). The show closes after my return to London in June so I have time to go and see it then.
www.charlieduttongallery.com
It was interesting to finish reading Gregor Muir’s ‘Lucky Kunst’ as I was (literally) flying out of London. The final chapters give the definite impression that the energy and opportunities that created YBA scene is something to be viewed as history – recent history, but history all the same. For me it was interesting that Muir (now director of Hauser & Wirth London) quite matter-of-factly documented the seismic shifts in the (London) scene – it’s something I hadn’t really thought about before. It is absolutely amazing that British artists became globally recognised and hugely successful not simply in their own lifetime but in about ten years. Muir himself went from barely surviving to directing a world-class gallery. What I also realised by the last page was that I wasn’t then, I’m not now and I never will be ‘that’ kind of artist.
Before I read Lucky Kunst I was a little worried that leaving London (I mean moving away) was some kind of failure on my part. Now I think to stay there would be a failure – a failure to recognise who I am and where I need to be.
I NEED a studio. I’m getting frustrated at not having anywhere to work, anywhere to play with things, anywhere to try things out. It’s been four months since I gave up the studio in London and I realise now that I’m not someone who can work at the kitchen table, or in space and times between other things. I like having a studio, I like the structure it gives me.
Now is not a good time to take a studio, I have one month more in Stockholm before I return to London to work and sort out my flat.
I feel as though I’m in limbo – waiting for things to happen, waiting for things to get resolved. I’m not completely passive but at the moment I’m waiting to hear about the college applications, waiting to talk to my flatmates, waiting to see if I can rent-out my flat …
After seeing three great shows at Magasin 3; Tom Friedman, Sol Lewitt, Maira Nepomuceno, www.magasin3.com; and Tomas Saraceno at Bonnier’s, www.bonnierskonsthall.se . I just want to get on and make things. The only way for me to be an artist is to make art. Make make make …
Books are expensive here in Sweden, especially imported one.
Today two books arrived that I ordered online (I try to support local bookshops but at the moment my finances can’t support my moral high-ground).
The parcel has three labels on it.
Each label has an address.
The first has my address here in Stockholm.
The second has the online companies address in North Las Vegas, United States.
The third has the address of a ‘mail centre’ in Auckland, New Zealand.
I can’t tell if the books have come from the US or NZ, or if they’ve gone from one to the other before arriving in Sweden.
I was reading the blurb on the back cover and I spotted that the books were printed and bound in Italy.
The books are co-published by Whitechapel Gallery, London and MIT Press in the US.
I had planned to buy the books at the Whitechapel Gallery bookshop myself, but noticed that the online price including postage was the same as the price in London and I wouldn’t have to think about paying for excess luggage. Originally I had planned to buy them last week when I should have been in London, however due to the volcanic ash cloud my flight was cancelled.
The books arrived the day I was due back.
I get fascinated by things like this.
I’ve been thinking about the points around the globe; Stockholm, London, Massachusetts, Las Vegas, Auckland, Iceland.
I feel, at once, both incredibly global and very very small …
So I’m not going to London then!
At the moment it looks as though my trip will be cancelled – although I can re-book my ticket it doesn’t look like I can do it for later this week.
I feel very unsettled – I thought I knew what I would be doing, and now it’s not happening. I feel quite weightless.
I will see if I can get my brother to download Skype so I can ‘join’ my parents and his family for dinner on Wednesday. I will raise a glass of something fizzy to Ken and Julia on Saturday afternoon and be with them in spirit of not person.
I’ll find other ways to sort out the other things I was going to do … and I’ll enjoy a ‘free’ week in Stockholm ….
ps. I’m reading Lucky Kunst: The Rise and Fall of the Young British Artist (by Gregor Muir) at the moment. It’s amazing to think I was both so near and so far from it all … a few miles and few months can realy make a difference
