I love what I’m doing the studio. Fabric and shirts held up against the wall with various pieces of timber. Favourite things so far:
• pale blue velvet held by rough sawn timber batons
• blue shirts held by 6mm dowel
• heap of pale blue fabric that failed to be held up – batons still leaning against the wall
Thinking about investing in a better studio:
• one where other people don’t have to cut through to get to kitchen/toilet
• one with better light – ideally natural
• one with better walls.
Getting rid of the table was a brilliant move – it’s completely changed how I am in the space. I walk around more, I sit in different places, I move things around …
Life is getting bigger, life is getting better …
PS. Since writing this last week and not being able to upload it (my problem not a-n's!). We've learned that the studio landlord hasn't got the business rates sorted out as he promised last year. We had a notice from a firm of bailiffs informing us they would return with immediate effect to claim funds/goods to the value of over £4,400 due on unpaid rates. I hope that we've managed to redirect them to the landlord who should have been paying them and passing on the appropriate share to each of us. It's another reason to start looking for a new studio …
Really enjoyed taking part in the Pecha Kucha*, and I got very positive feedback. It was nice to have the opportunity to show some slides of work in progress alongside older pictures that I took with no purpose in mind. Going through my pictures I realise how many I take of empty architecture, of the sky and of the sea. Putting together a selection of 20 pictures allowed me to see some kind of affinity between them and what I’ve been working on in the studio.
Last week I spent most of my studio days making shelves for the box files that replace the filing cabinet that I had at home. Changing from an old four drawer filing cabinet to colour coded box files on shelves forced me to clear out a lot of old paperwork. The filing cabinet was so large that I didn’t have to think whether I needed to keep old invoices, notes, drafts of applications, rejection letters – there was room for everything. Getting rid of unnecessary old paperwork feels good, it feels like I’m loosening my grip on the past and getting ready for new things. The corner of the room where the filing cabinet used to be feels lighter than it did – both visually and mentally.
Over the last few years I needed stuff – a lot of stuff – around me. Stuff that shored me up, stuff that told me who I was and who I had been. Now I need space – space for new things. I don’t think it’s any coincidence that this sorting out and making space has come at this time. I’m very interested in something we discussed at the bereavement group – the idea of allowing (even encouraging) life to grow (increase in size) rather than trying to shrink the grief. I am fortunate that I have a life that I can grow, and I am very fortunate that I have good professional friendships that are supporting me. Life is getting bigger, life is getting better.
* Japanese for chit-chat. An event hosted by M2 Gallery; 10 artists/designers/architects are invited to show 20 slides for 20 seconds each. www.m2gallery.co.uk
I thought I had been really smart – writing a blog entry on my work laptop while commuting. I emailed the blog to me so I could cut and paste it but I can't – the work laptop has a more recent version of Word than my old computer and it's all incompatible.
Off to the studio this afternoon. Going well. MUST get more blue shirts.
Did most of the last year's accounts over two days last week. I must NEVER allow myself to get so far behind again! Especially with foreign trips. It's such a relief that I'm almost up to date.
I’m sure I repeat myself every time I go away.
When I get home I will:
• prioritise making art
• go to studio more
• just make and not think so much
• go to more openings
• speak to galleries /curators
What happens in those miles above the earth?
Is it the hours I gain or lose that shift something?
January has been tough for me, not least due the thoughts and emotions that attending the bereavement group has brought up. It has been very good though – not always pleasant – and I’m glad that I am doing it. What surprised me most was the anger I felt. I’ve always thought that I ‘didn’t do’ anger, that I could rationalise it away, that I could coolly unpick a situation, keep my distance, and make an intellectual response. How did I think I could make art if I was maintaining such an attitude?
Sketchbook: I need to start carrying it with me again. When did I stop? I have a feeling it was around the anniversary of the John’s death.
Studio: I’m so pleased that I tidied and painted it while I was unable to engage with making anything. Now I have a good clean place to start making again. Ideally I would construct a false wall in front of the defunct and immoveable radiator and over the damp and crumbling bricks. Perhaps I should investigate how much that would cost. I notice that I am starting to get a lot of email advertising studios – a sign of the recession?
Coming to Stockholm has been a necessary extravagance. I am still serious about spending more time here and this week has been useful for that. It has given me time to think about what preparations I need to make. I am aware that despite being a smaller city it will be hard work to make and show art here.
(Pictures for this and other Stockholm posts coming as soon as I find the right cable)
Market & Super Market STOCKHOLM
After visiting Market and Supermarket I am surprised to say that I found Market more interesting, and perhaps more relevant for me. Super Market had a youthful vitality mixed with a certain earnestness that was at once familiar, perhaps too familiar. The majority of the show featured project based artist led space and galleries. The energy and commitment of these projects was almost palpable despite the Scandinavian coolness of it all. The whole place was buzzing with excitement.
Market on the other hand exuded the mature confidence of established galleries, and if I am honest it's where I'd rather be. I like the context these galleries provide*, I like the attitude and I like the space. I like the calmness. Here is seems that there are the conditions for engaging with the art on it's own terms. Here is art for arts sake. Art being what art can and needs to be – art. I'm not sure I fully understand what I'm trying to express, nor am I sure that words are the best way for me to make an attempt. It was as I went around Market I realised what I have to do when I go back to London – I have to make art.
Again I am reminded of the aside made by the guide at Salong Hofman (last year in Berlin): No artist makes serious work before they are 40. It is coincidence that I am 40? Is it significant that, if anything, I want to know less about what I making and want to trust what I am making more?
It was at Market that I found things to inspire me. I found the things I want to aim for now.
I found the world I want to live in – a confident, moneyed, world of art.
Much of what appealed to me was beautiful, conceptual, simple, philosophical. Objects and images that alluded to something, referred to something, things that I knew were essential and intangible. It was that combination that gave me that thrill, that sense of being in the presence of art.
Tuesday / Wednesday – visit Stockholm galleries.
* I do not include the media frenzy surrounding the stand mentioned in my previous post.
