I have … get … a sense of wholeness and belonging here. I had a great conversation with Hans and willy – two artists who run ruimte Caesuur. In the flow of exchange I spoke of my dilemma about… reactions to… thinking through of… having been asked to apply for a half-time job. Speaking about it felt a completely natural thing to do … just as it has done at the studio … it makes me realise that I am among … in the spheres of … genuine colleagues and peers, and that when in the right place the length of knowing each other is less significant than the sensitivities that one has for each other … home.
And of course I want to be home, I want spend time with my art family.
I have spent many years as a tourist … as various tourists. There is a Swedish saying that to be away is nice but to be home is best (borta bra men hemma bäste). I think that I have been away too long … that perhaps I went a bit native. Last week while sorting things in the studio an old postcard fell out of a box … or a book or something … it’s one that I probably bought while on my foundation course or at Dartington – it’s a kitch 50s(?) cartoon of girl with a suitcase, the slogan … motto … again something about how pleasant it is to return home after being away.
On Thursday evening four of us – Alice, Bengt, Filip, and I walked home from the last stop on our tour of off-site spaces. Turning on to a long straight road that took us through the woods Filip started telling Swedish jokes … simple kids’ joke that were rather lost on Alice and me but he persisted with good humour. An image came to my mind … the four of us setting off on this long road … Alice leading us – she was the only one with any battery left in her phone for following the map… and our distinct individual physicalities … Filip with his blond beard was the Lion, Alice the petit and youthful Dorothy, Bengt with his silver grey hair and metal rim glasses was Tin man, and I in my second-hand suit jacket was Straw man. But in my case did the comparison go further than the merely visual? Scarecrow – the lovable one … the one without a brain … or rather the one who doesn’t know to use the brain that he’s got. It might be stretching the metaphor a little too much but isn’t Scarecrow’s resolution – or homecoming – at the end of the film to recognise that he has intelligence, that he has agency?
It’s early morning, I’ve been for a nice run along the canal, where I passed by revellers not quite yet on their way home, and through the habour and waterfront area. I thought that I would this blog would be about my day of Think Tanks – the themes and discussions, the ideas that I will take back to Supermarket, the ways that Pam and I might develop and expand the connections between our programmes … but no I find myself thinking and writing around what home might be for me … and how might be setting off on my way there.
Words and phrases come out of my mouth … and they surprise me … terms and and ideas that are both mine and yet somehow also a little foreign … perhaps remote is more accurate. I am thoroughly enjoying the conversations and discussions here at Juxtapose. They are giving me much to think about … both directly and indirectly. I don’t think that it’s too overblown to say that I love being here … being amongst other artists who are also engaged with critical and alternative contexts in, through, and across which they are extending their practice. My way of being and thinking makes sense here … as it does at Supermarket … which now that I come to think if it is my longest standing ’job’ – at least 12 years now! This is the arena in which I want to spend my time and energy. Do I dare to make it real?
This is a pertinent question. Last Saturday when I was at the launch of the a project in Uppsala I was asked by the head of the regional arts team to apply for a job that will be advertised shortly. He described the job and the ’particular … special’ kind of person that they are looking – which he has heard is the kind of person that I am … someone capable of working practically/technically to install artworks in public buildings but/also to curate the works that will be installed. The position is half-time. In many ways it sounds ideal – a good combination of both physical and intellectual work, half-time, regular income. And yet it makes me nervous … I promised myself a year in which to focus on the practice and less than a month into that year I am being seduced by the possibility of another job. Of course there is no guarantee that I would get it even if I apply for it … I have to admit that I am very flattered to have been asked – I didn’t know that that the head of the regional arts department knew who I was.
Do I dare to dream? Dream that I can make it as a freelance … free range … free … artist. Coincidentally (?) the theme for Supermarket 2024 is, with all the various intonations, ’Dream on’.
I spoke with an artist who I know from Supermarket, she is leading a Think Tank today looking at ’foresight tools’ for advancing one practice and arts organisations. Her session is a late addition to the schedule and I am already signed up to another session at the same time but I am thinking of changing – not least because her topic sits so well with Supermarket’s theme and I know that she regularly attends Supermarket so it would great if she could moderate a meting there too. But also I perhaps need the time and space to consider my own process and route towards achieving what I want … dare I take steps towards what I want … even if I can’t fully imagine what and where that is … dare I imagine where I would like to be in ten or fifteen years time and then work back to see what I should be doing now?
After just one day I have met such fantastically interesting and passionate people all of whom I want to spend time with … find ways of working with … dare I say that this is where I want to be?
Aarhus: Juxtapose Art Fair. I arrived yesterday afternoon and after checking in at my hostel – converted in a very fashionably danish way from the former city library … it’s called Book 1 – I found my way to one of the artist-run spaces that is part of fair’s ’off-site’ programme. There I met some artists that I know from Supermarket and shortly after Alice – one of the Supermarket directors and with whom I work on the magazine/catalogue – arrived. We and several others were then lead to two more artist-run spaces. The last of these required a bus journey to the suburbs. There we very warmly welcomed by a studio collective who once a year have a themed group show in their exhibition space … being the last stop on the tour they had very kindly and generously laid on pizza and beer – one of the artist’s ’bonus’ sons has his own brewery. We spend a nice evening there. Four of us – two Swedes and two adoptive Swedes – decided to walk back to the city, we chatted the whole way and the hour passed quickly, it was good to be outside and the evening … night was warm. It smelled and even looked a lot like England … leafy trees, a certain dampness, a barely discernible mistiness in the air.
I am excited to be here and am looking forward to the fair. It’s been a long time since I was at an art fair other than Supermarket. And my role here is rather mixed – part representant of Supermarket, part participant, part visitor, part artist, part project director (Glitter Ball showroom & projects). As Supermarket’s Meetings programme coordinator I will be spending a lot of time at Juxtapose’s Think Tanks – their equivalent series of thematic network(ing) meetings for exhibitors. I am also moderating/hosting a meeting – one half of what Pam, the coordinator, has dubbed the ’philosophical double bill’. It should be good fun.
It feels really good to be here, to be with other artists who are actively engaged with the artist-run scene … there’s an energy that I find inspiring. And so far I really like what I see of Aarhus – it’s a proper city with vitality as well as what appears to be a good mix of old, new, slick and grubby bits. This morning on a brief but necessary run I picked up a red and white table cloth that I had seen lying on the street last night … material for a future artwork … last night there was also a double bed frame and mattress at the same spot – at 7.00am this morning they were already gone.
The chill in the air together with the mistyness and running unknown roads put me in mind of Riga. I am in Köping, Västmanland where I will be running a workshop today in conjunction with the official opening of the installation at the train station – Departure and Arrival, part three.
Yesterday was the opening and workshop in Kungsör. Only a few people joined the drop in workshop but several were keen to chat and there were interesting conversations about making, artistry, and materiality. It was great to meet Sarah Vegna, a local artist, author, and all round creative person, who was there to assist with the workshop. Her passion for recycling and her ways of engaging people in thinking about it were/are truly inspiring – she has written and illustrated childrens’ books where the children recycle materials into new things that they need. I can easily imagine her running great workshops based on this idea. And it reminded me that workshops can be really good ways of getting people thinking about a whole range of things at the same time as developing and exploring their creativity.
It strikes me now that I too have been running workshops from a sustainable perspective. For the past two years the main material for the summer schools I ran was waste cardboard from the deliveries of new books to the library. I have also frequently used old books which were on their way to the recycling centre. My vision for the creative workshop in the proposed culture house (in Enköping) was that it should have sustainability at its heart – a proposal which seemed to fall on deaf ears.
One person who certainly picked up on what I was saying was Simon – who worked with me on the Creative Saturday programme in Enköping. I think that was why he invited me to a meeting for people working with and interested in art/creativity and sustainability. The day (last Sunday) turned out to be far better than I had expected … experience has led me to be sceptical of network meetings where everyone save the artists are in paid positions and the network building is a part of their employment … research … funded project … academic role. This was quite the opposite – a group of mostly freelance or part-time people with broad interests and experience looking to develop new ways of working recognising that pay and/or financial compensation for time and expertise are vital. I was pleased that my point about the increasing demands for the instrumentalisation of art in the service of political agendas actually does very little for either the artist or art other than provide short term income/employment was taken on, and that there is an arguement for looking at how we use existing art space and institutions as well as for taking art out of these traditional venues. There was also discussion around how little rather than how much we can do … participate … contribute … for a network to function and be meaningful – which is a very attractive way to approach things!
Working in Enköping already feels as though it was the distant past, it is actually only two and half weeks ago that my sabbatical began. I enjoyed the three day week that I worked there in late July though it wasn’t as I thought it would be. The colleague who is taking over my role and I had spoken about … agreed(!) … that we would spend time together going through things – both practical and administrative during those days, however when I arrived to work Wednesday through to Friday I learned that she was on holiday. So no real ’hand over’, I had already written a hand over document and we had spoken briefly but that was when she asked for more time together as she was overloaded with other things. Two other colleagues were working that week but I hardly saw them – nothing unusual about that as both keep themselves very much to themselves. After a nice quiet week of sorting, tidying, and cleaning I left.
It feels absolutely right to be taking a break … a long break. I have become aware of how I had come to have a constant … persistent … nagging … low level frustration … irritation … stress(?) – I can probably only allow myself this recognition now that I am no longer in the situation causing it.
Being at the studio is an absolute pleasure and I am truly enjoying the company of other artists … as I have said before it feels like I am at home there.
