I found last week to be an intensely emotional period. From hearing of the killings in Orlando, to seeing members of my gym choosing to stand with the rainbow flag for their post-workout Instagram photos, and then reading of the fatal attack on Jo Cox MP, the week – the week’s events – awakened great senses of anger, disappointment, frustration, and thanks to everyone at CrossFit Enköping also pride and hope.
On Friday Tim called me an asked if I would like to accompany him to collect the headpieces that we made for the ‘Greek God’ finale of Mamma Mia the Party that did not make the final cut. Although I was initially hesitant to subject him to my peculiar mood in the close confines of a car I am very pleased that I accepted his invitation. It meant that I not only took a pause in what I was doing but that in telling him why I was in a strange humour I made a little more sense of it myself.
So now on Monday I continue with what I started on Friday morning – glittering two balls: one gold, one blue, for a maquette. I started thinking about the piece, which I eventually hope will be made on a larger scale, few weeks ago (possibly even a couple of months ago). I am pretty sure that my emotional state made the work seem even more necessary and urgent. Or rather the state of the world, rather than my re-action to it, made the work seem more urgent.
The lyrics of one of Marc Almond’s most brilliant (in my opinion) songs had me both teary eyed and dancing in the studio …
I need some beauty in my life
I’m tired of trouble, tired of strive
To dig for diamonds, dive for pearls
Beauty will redeem me
I need some beauty in my life
I’m tired of trouble, tired of strive
To dig for diamonds, dive for pearls
Beauty will redeem the world
Beauty will redeem the world
(Redeem Me, Marc Almond, Marius De Vries, on Stardom Road, 2007)
Beauty and aesthetics are political, and they are very necessary. When things around me are collapsing, falling apart, and imploding, it is beauty that I turn to. And when I fear that the crassness of man is on the brink of authority and domination then I find resistance and strength in the acts of creative beauty. I cannot undo what happened in the Pulse club in Orlando, I cannot undo what happened to Jo Cox, what I can do is my best to make something beautiful and put it out there in the world. It is my way of fighting back, of having faith, of attempting to make things better …. “beauty will redeem the world”
