Words and phrases come out of my mouth … and they surprise me … terms and and ideas that are both mine and yet somehow also a little foreign … perhaps remote is more accurate. I am thoroughly enjoying the conversations and discussions here at Juxtapose. They are giving me much to think about … both directly and indirectly. I don’t think that it’s too overblown to say that I love being here … being amongst other artists who are also engaged with critical and alternative contexts in, through, and across which they are extending their practice. My way of being and thinking makes sense here … as it does at Supermarket … which now that I come to think if it is my longest standing ’job’ – at least 12 years now! This is the arena in which I want to spend my time and energy. Do I dare to make it real?
This is a pertinent question. Last Saturday when I was at the launch of the a project in Uppsala I was asked by the head of the regional arts team to apply for a job that will be advertised shortly. He described the job and the ’particular … special’ kind of person that they are looking – which he has heard is the kind of person that I am … someone capable of working practically/technically to install artworks in public buildings but/also to curate the works that will be installed. The position is half-time. In many ways it sounds ideal – a good combination of both physical and intellectual work, half-time, regular income. And yet it makes me nervous … I promised myself a year in which to focus on the practice and less than a month into that year I am being seduced by the possibility of another job. Of course there is no guarantee that I would get it even if I apply for it … I have to admit that I am very flattered to have been asked – I didn’t know that that the head of the regional arts department knew who I was.
Do I dare to dream? Dream that I can make it as a freelance … free range … free … artist. Coincidentally (?) the theme for Supermarket 2024 is, with all the various intonations, ’Dream on’.
I spoke with an artist who I know from Supermarket, she is leading a Think Tank today looking at ’foresight tools’ for advancing one practice and arts organisations. Her session is a late addition to the schedule and I am already signed up to another session at the same time but I am thinking of changing – not least because her topic sits so well with Supermarket’s theme and I know that she regularly attends Supermarket so it would great if she could moderate a meting there too. But also I perhaps need the time and space to consider my own process and route towards achieving what I want … dare I take steps towards what I want … even if I can’t fully imagine what and where that is … dare I imagine where I would like to be in ten or fifteen years time and then work back to see what I should be doing now?
After just one day I have met such fantastically interesting and passionate people all of whom I want to spend time with … find ways of working with … dare I say that this is where I want to be?
