I Can See Clearly Now The Rain Has Gone. Song by Johnny Nash 1972
Last week I was all set to write my first ever rant about the contemporary use (or misuse) of the word sketch. I did my research and made the notes but something got in the way of me actually writing it. That seems like a long time ago now.
For some while there have been slight changes in my eyesight and I was long overdue for a visit to the opticians. Small things, at first easy to explain away as part of ageing but then recently something more sinister. When I sit down at the computer the screen it appears to bow outwards towards me-it is so real that I have put my hands out to touch it-all a bit Alice-in-Wonderland. Also not recognising old friends in the street, or worse still being convinced that they are someone else and having a completely one-sided conversation with them while they stand there looking bemused.
After ruling out Alzheimer’s and early onset dementia, I put the symptoms into Google and up popped Macular Degeneration. The penny dropped, my Mum has it and is now at 93 registered blind. She was diagnosed with AMD about 30 years ago and has always coped remarkably well. I recently bought her a Paperwhite Kindle which has a lit screen and giant font size and she uses it every day.
I was still scared when my husband finally made the appointment last Friday morning, within the hour, at Vision Express. The optician was very thorough and ran lots of tests including a photo of the back of the eyeball that looked like an exotic planet. Eventually he put a piece of gridded A5 paper into my hands and told me to focus on the spot in the middle. Around the dot all the previously straight horizontal and vertical lines began moving into badly aligned boxes. Horrified I said rather too loudly: “That’s it isn’t it, I’ve got it haven’t I?” The optician said soothingly that we mustn’t get ahead of ourselves and that we should finish the tests. But I knew.
I came out of the examination room with the little piece of gridded paper and the name of the vitamin supplements that will (hopefully) slow the progression of the course the disease. I blindly and hastily, bought a horribly expensive pair of glasses and then stocked up on vitamins and a delicious turquoisy-grey coloured eye pencil.
I told my mother, she is from the School of No-Nonsense and although sad for me, has helped me put it all into perspective. Around me people I know and don’t know, struggle daily with worse things. I want to do as much as possible while my sight is good, I am greedy for art to look at and to read about and to write and to make. I got a bit stuck when I thought about writing the blog, to tell or not to tell, it felt like an awfully big thing to not say. Well I have done it now and already it doesn’t seem like such a big deal. Where are my paints?
