Coffee at Tilly’s.
Today I met up with a retired gentleman for coffee whom I have known for a while…I got aquainted to him through my work and then eventualy we discoverd we had a creative connection which came about through getting onto the subject of art and the course I am on, and I discoverd John had a career creating and casting small scale images.
On previous occassions when we have chatted he had mentioned a friend and aquaintence Josephine de Vasconcellos, a sculptor. Today John brought along some small scale pieces of her work to show me, ones that he had cast for Josephine… some which she had given to him, they are very beautiful. there is a serene and peaceful quality within the works, to my surprise John intended to give me one as a gift, it is made from copper and was cast by John. He said the works were to do with the elements of earth, wind fire .
Also today I have been reflecting on my work toward the final degree show. I have had thoughts about the way forward, the road I am on has become a burden and increasingly heavy this leaves me feeling in a dark place (the hardest experience so far on this course)…I am in need of some directing so need to speak to David, Jane, Sarah, about this.
I looked on line a-n and read an article by an artist called Tamara ……….. on how writing about a thing changes it , she talked about Allan Kaprows work on imperminence of performance art pieces,and Kaprows writing about his work, this seems to tie in with writing a blog on ones artistic reflective journey concerning the critical review.
Writing this blog has heightened my awareness about what I am attempting to convey through visual art, and it is bringing to the surface subconscious aspects, I am finding it increasingly challenging in that it is revealing certain aspects such as confronting ones dilemmas, motivations,perceptions concerning the reasons behind the production of a work, communicating of ideas, resolving issues,the challenging of what one understands – why,? the moral implications… getting a degree on the premise of what one produces. dilemma verses what… ethical responsibiltiy, morality…. awareness etc…stop.. stop.. stop… stop.. STOP!. I need to regain an equilibrian as there is a fair degree of internal dissonence and am in need of regaining a peace and balance I must discover a way in or seek an alternative way out … problem solving is part and parcel of finding ways forward.
Doing this blog has become like a mirror it reveals ones internal by making it external therefore visible…like looking into a mirror it is exposing …it exposes the flaws in ones understanding as well as enhancing the qualities of what one is attempting to convey through art.
Through writing this blog one becomes doubly aware it is also seen publicly … and to be honest at the moment there is a part of me that feels wretched but also saying the word wretched allows a release which is also rather cathartic!, it is like a confession!! there is a vunerability about revealing especially when one is having to confront issues and find ways forward … At the moment I crave to do something beautiful calm, serene, like the gift of the sculpture given to me today is this a sign to me to change direction? Said again with elements of desperation and humour.
I came across Eric Fromms writing which I now consider apt and timely.
-“If other people do not understand our behavior—so what? Their request that we must only do what they understand is an attempt to dictate to us. If this is being “asocial” or “irrational” in their eyes, so be it. Mostly they resent our freedom and our courage to be ourselves. We owe nobody an explanation or an accounting, as long as our acts do not hurt or infringe on them. How many lives have been ruined by this need to “explain,” which usually implies that the explanation be “understood,” i.e. approved. Let your deeds be judged, and from your deeds, your real intentions, but know that a free person owes an explanation only to himself—to his reason and his conscience—and to the few who may have a justified claim for explanation.” ― Erich Fromm, The Art of Being
