Residency at HomeBase V Berlin

Saturday 4 September. Day six.

I feel quite distant from the text I just wrote, and distant is a positive description in my case. I have always stayed away from making autobiographic work and will continue to do so. Each time I tried to ‘inject’ an autobiographic aspect into my work it failed in what it had set out to achieve. So in this case being distant is a conscious decision.

Even though the recent footage and photographs are taken in the space that I, temporarily, inhabit, these are not my spaces, not my memories and traces. They belong to everybody who has ever entered his room and nobody simultaneously. This is a space that is inhabited temporarily, every time. Therefore, nobody can describe it a theirs and what I document and write about is not mine either.

Deja-vu/Contradictions

By now I am more or less used to the feeling of cold. It never goes away, even in a warm room I get shivers as if my body doesn’t remember how to be warm and is constantly fighting against the cold. So I gave up wearing a coat. Most people in the street seem a lot better prepared for the autumn weather ahead.

My mind is in the constant state of this sensation of deja-vu and the false impression of even a slight familiarity with this place, feeling at home almost, mixed with that pleasant feeling of complete novelty.

Suddenly, I recognise something. In the windows of the first floor apartments I see clown figures in swings, facing the street. They look freaky. At least every third window has one of even more. I realise this was that street, one of the first and, it seemed then, longest streets I ever walked in this city. It is not surprising I didn’t recognise the surroundings straight away -covered in sleet and dirt like it was back in February, this was hardly a place to enjoy.

I remember the voice at exactly this crossing -‘If you want to go to the Jewish Museum, it’s that way’. The group carried on straight. Now, walking by myself, I recognise this large imposing building of red brick. I turn left -here I notice that I am constantly fighting against my temptation to get a take away coffee and dive into my comfort zone – I carry on walking.

03.09.2010

3 days, 27 medium format photographs, €47.96, this is just the beginning…

Today I had two rolls of 120 film processed and printed, both of them from Berlin. It turned out to be more expensive than I expected so it looks like I will have to cut down on my compulsion to document every little change around me. Still, I would like these to be part of the final installation in the studio, there just won’t be as many as I’d like to.

All images here are from my phone.

It’s just gone 10pm and am about to go over to the studios, looks at the images in situ.