ROCK 1 and 2 – Roz Cran: Artist in Residence

The middle of the residency and visit no. 6.  I am later today and the cleaning ladies are in the church. I find it hard to settle.  Feeling flat.

I read The Spirit of Silence.  I am not inspired.

Do some sketches of the choir figures again.

Look at the eagle lectern, her head stretches up and out, as if she is going to launch and fly frenetically round the roof space.

I eat my sandwich.  Do some more sketches.

I sit in silence.  Waiting.  Silence: a period of rest, like a field lying fallow. Music: sound and silence.

The Sacristan enters the church and the silence is broken. I settle again and sit.

Perhaps I need to get on with making.  Decide to leave earlier than usual and go to collect more soil samples.  The sea at Rock a Nore is huge and splashing right up on the cliff.  On the West Hill the wind buffets and pushes me as I spoon up the soil.

‘Learn silence,’ says Pythagoras, ‘with the quiet serenity of a meditative mind, listen, absorb, transcribe, and transform.

Henri Rousseau says, ” The landscapist lives in silence.’

‘Silence is a source of great strength,’ Lao Tzu.

The discipline of coming, making time and space to think, write and read – this is the value of the residency.  Boundaried time, shut off from distractions, a regular opportunity to stop, write down my thoughts and see where they lead.

Hard to sleep last night, so many ideas, time to start making too or I will be suffocated by half-formed starts.  Only way is through the making.

Two aspects:  time to think;  time to make;  both open out possibilities, lead me down a path, usually a familiar path, same values and things I am working out, working through, but a new way too, a sideways shuffle through a gap in the hedge, push through the prickles into the field next door, a fresh view, an open place, phew.

Watercolour sketches: the candlesticks, the choir figures.

Each week I notice different things; my attention is called differently.

Jill calls in.  I talk about the circle of silence, my idea for some readings.

The church flower lady comes in to take out the flowers for Lent.  She gives me a bunch of white blooms.

On the way out I pick some leaves from the churchyard and later at home I print them.  February leaves.

SILENCE and yet there are plenty of sounds, the traffic passing, a collared dove cooing, someone moving around in the church room below.  But it is a quiet place where the busyness can stop.  I can write, listen, read and think. The writing is a way in, it leads me.  My hand keeps going, tapping into the stream, definitely moving, following the voice.  No need to find the voice, it’s there waiting to write.

SILENCE: INTERRUPTED ACTION – STANDING STILL  – STEPPING BACKWARDS

LISTEN AND BE LEAD

I sketch the Eagle again.

‘ART AND FEAR’ by D. Bayles and T. Orland, they provide comfort and reassurance in the face of the shaky approach to making:

‘Making art now means working in the face of uncertainty; it means living with doubt and contradiction, doing something no one much cares whether you do and for which there may be neither audience nor reward.’

‘To you, and you alone, what matters is the process – the experience of shaping the artwork.  The viewers’ concerns are not your concerns’

‘…even the failed pieces are essential.’

‘…vision is always ahead of execution, knowledge of materials is your contact with reality, and uncertainty is a virtue.’

I eat an apple.  Take a photo of the choir cushion covered in William Morris material, a Lily theme I think or…

Time to go and gather some stones. And some leaves. Look for a grinder.

4 February 2015

Silence.

I remember the readings on Silence I held which came out of the study of Grey.

I look out the books, my markers still there, and re-read the passages.

I am struck by the importance of quietness, breaks from the constant clutter of noise in our busy lives, the many writers on all aspects, the benefits, the influence of silence.  John Berger, Jeanette Winterson, George Prochnik, Sara Maitland,

‘My experience of silence was like being awake inside a dream I could direct.’ and   ‘there are increasing hints from the world of neuroscience that support the notion of silence as a fertile pause.’ quotes Prochnik.

One book by John Lane has a pile of stones on the cover.

Several authors mention stones or rocks.  The interlinking of interests.

The power of three – Stones/rocks, Silence, Soil collection

Today I bring less, sit quietly for a time, focus on three activities: reading, soil collection, tracing the outline of the church.  I sketch the Eagle.

Quieter

Gentler

Calmer

If you want to enter that other place, that risky place, then dreaming can assist, Cixous recommends lying down to sleep with a rock under your head.