rolling my dung, in four acts

I have an interview on tuesday afternoon, with the "Royal Standard", who have located new premises. (They are a dynamic artist/studio group who I think have a fair amount of potential. It would be great to join the team.)

After the interview I will drive straight out to the Lake District or to Wales and find a friendly farmer who will let me roll hay and mud into a ball on his field.. (while he will undoubtedly stroke his bald head and beard – assuming he has that given combination) and wonder about my madness..

Wish me good luck and a surprise volunteer, I will need one to hold my camera..

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OH, I don't know if you read the blog that I deleted, the one where I explained why I need to find a safe place to work outside Liverpool.. (being compromised by someone stalking me..)

That situation is flaring up again now, so if anyone has an idea where there may be an art place that may be able to host me on an informal basis, even for just a few days, then it would be great if you could get in touch with me.

Really even just 3 days immersed in an art environment can save me from a lot of very unwanted distraction here. Those 3 days could be worth a lot more than their actual time in hours and days.

My fortnight old sos yielded no responses at all.

So I now know that there are no philanthropists reading my blog.

Well, I suppose it is good who one's audience is not. You clearly have no financial means or if you do you don't find me worthy of sharing them…? That's ok. I will continue drawing and coloring flowers for a living. Fine, leave me in perpetual flower purgatory…

So back to art: I have just noticed that I haven't written a thing for a while, neither any of my random streamed thoughts nor an actual plan of attack. Since the unexpected cancellation of my installation "The Watchers" everything slowed down enormously, I had a lot of energy invested in that project and a fair amount of money.

I had hoped for it to be the project that would have me noticed and invited to this year's Liverpool Biennial, I am ok about not receiving a fee, but I just don't want to chase most exhibition opportunities like a stray puppy might chase it's potential new owner.

I see my folly. I best get my puppy gear on. That's ok, too.

Funding hasn't materialized yet, but I am sure I can put that down to not having applied to enough of it. ANd to recent stalling in the new projects being evident outside the sphere of my imagination.

Plan of attack?:

I have finally (finally in big huge enormous capital letters with a bag full of exclamation marks) .. so I was saying: I have finally figured out a core essential solution that I have had a feeling needed finding for months.. I found it, and like all truly good solutions it is so simple I just would like to slap myself on my forehead:

The core of the ball of clay/mud for "Dungbeetle and Sisyphus" will be hay, tied into shape with twine/string/rope (call it what you like).

Yes, it is blindingly obvious. there was no need whatsoever for me to fuss around how to construct a framework out of wood. There was no need for that effort and projected struggle (and expense) a ball of hay is all I need. Bingo.

Why oh why did that take so long to arrive at? And how obvious a solution.. Well, here we are. It means I will drive into the countryside and make a trial mud-ball on tuesday/wednesday

Oh, perhaps even tomorrow, if there just wasn't my admin-mountain to dig into first.. brrr… tax. Need I say any more?

So I best deal with tax : step one

and step two: mud ball making..

Living the artist lifestyle… ran out of gas and thus heating and cooking possibilities, about 5 days ago. Sitting in my large (arctic), Victorian mansion, surrounded by paper, bags and array of pencils.

The head full of new project strands and projects half started and promised…

Seeking funding really is going to be a priority now. No more moves without money and/or other support.

I have got a verbal agreement with the Portuguese Consulate for a show there in september. Very nice.

And now there is a list as long as my arm of places and people to contact, say thanks to for previous help and attendance and nudge to reply and promise me space, publicity and money.

Money.

What a dirty word.

But how nice to feel it in one's pocket.

The artist's car committed suicide yesterday. How on earth will she now get to Clay Outcrops in Wales; for the project "Dungbeetle and Sisyphus"?

I utter an SOS, in the knowledge that I will probably not be called by knights in shining armor with keys to vehicles that I can use.

But still here it is, an SOS with emphasis.

SOS!

I would love if anyone could recommend a residency opportunity to me, as I may not be able to work in Liverpool in the next weeks.

However: I have had a wonderful response from the other 2 exhibitions and am meeting the Portugese Consulate on monday, to discuss a potential of holding a multimedia exhibition at the Consulate in Manchester.

Thanks to the exhibition at Hope University (for which a fee has been agreed) I have attended a dinner with ambassadors who have been in support of the "Big Hope" congress at Hope University. THis congress was an amazingly positive experience. Delegates from all over the world (Tibet included) attended, speakers ranging from the last Prime Minister of India to Stanley Wells the world expert on Shakespeare attended..

the theme: a harmonious global future for all of humanity…

Beautiful…

After the mamooth program of the past 6 weeks with the unfortunate cancellation of "The Watchers / 7 Giants"

(due to the exhibition space falling into dormancy exactly at the time when we should have opened the show… I learnt big lessons from this: make very concrete arrangements and make them in writing… or lose a lot of time and money…)

… well after all that I am something like 98% wiped out and exhausted.

However the enforced resting period on my sofa next to the garden window, listening to the birds and reading about the Folkstone Triennial and Tracy Emin's contribution (which I like very much),.. well doing all that resting and strangely static existing I suddenly have been taken over by a whole avalanche of new ideas.

Given just how extremely exhausted I am I can but wonder what makes the Muse deliver more large scale and labour intensive ideas.. One thing is certain: I need a production team. And the other thing that is certain: I can at this stage in my career not afford one.

So… But here comes a solution in form of a new project idea that I have just fallen in love with head over heels:

hmmmm..

actually I may just have to keep you in suspense there. because I am so incredibly happy with this idea that I might have to hide it in a box for a few more days. It's just too good.

You know the feeling… it's kind of the same as everyone's baby is the best baby, everyone's cat the nicest cat.. etc… and so it is with this new project. If I had the energy I would be leaping off the sofa and jump with joy and excitement.. as it is I will immediately drag my tired body to clear the room for my new flatmate, who is due to arrive in 2 weeks time. So that once that job is out of the way I will be able to launch head first into the deep end of my new project.