rolling my dung, in four acts

Today was quixotic.

My hands feel like I think they might daily once I reach my 7th decade in life. A lot of cutting, sawing, pulling, pushing, drilling and so on…

And in the end: well let me put it this way: What on earth was I thinking using cardboard to attempt and build 3.5 meter high structures..?

Now a miracle please… because the show opens in 23 days!

(The super thick board that I made out of layers of corrugated cardboard is nowhere near stable enough to ever hold a vertical position. Now I have a serious problem.)

(or do I?)

Hmmmm….

Problems also give more ideas. But it feels frightfully late to start on new solutions.

Another serious issue is the weakness of my hands. I can not imagine them being of any use past just one more intensive day like today. Oh I am not a builder after all. But seriously: I am too weak, not whimpish, to do all this work on my own. And I have no assistant as yet, and the prognosis is that I will continue to put it all together in singular line-up.

I wonder, how long does it take to train up toes and feet to nimbly do hand's jobs?

Currently the brainwaves are a little blocked due to unforseeable circumstances. But here is a basic drawing of the "Giants".

Well I feel very supported.. Several large stores have taken to folding their cardboard very neatly as opposed to lovelessly throwing it into their respective skips..

Good people helping me get the maximum amount of womble-activity accomplished..

don't forget I am also found in these places.. :

www.myspace.com/birgitdeubner

www.axisweb.org/artist/birgitdeubner

(there will be one of these: ' that you have to delete from the end of the address bar.. I don't know why it keeps appearing.)

After attending a talk by Hew Locke about his work, at the Liverpool Bluecoat Gallery this evening I feel reinvigorated and re-confirmed in my plans for the "7 Giants" exhibition that I am building to show at St Luke's.

I was beginning to think that perhaps I am crazy to plan to build a whole installation, of really quite large dimensions, out of cardboard…

But now that I have seen some of Hew's work, which he made in the 90's I am positively vibrant with excitement to continue on my mad quixotic venture..

So "7 Giants" there will be..

My god, I do have to say I love Hew Locke. He was a bit on the guarded side, but if he is that inspiring on a day that appears to me not to be his best then I can only say" WOW. Can someone please make sure he gets all necessary funding, so that I can follow his progress… And give him enough money to allow him to fully spread his wings. There is life in the artist and in his work.!

Am feeling very happy to have had an opportunity to hear him and shake hands, too.

(A handshake is an important barometer for all kinds of personality conclusions.. and Hew has a handshake that I sincerely approve of.)

Bravo to the Bluecoat for commissioning such an exciting artist.

Speaking to Brian Biggs I also hear that Alec Finlay may be back for a reading this summer. Oh, yes, please…

But back to me, me , me.. The life of the artist has gone mad in every possible way but I am pleased to report that somehow I seem to have become weather and life-hurricane resistant and am holding up quite well. And am still simmering the ideas and project development pool.

A particularly strategic friend of mine today did a grants search on my behalf and found a few leads that may promise some future. I love practical friends. I love some others, too. But practical ones are extra special at a time when life is throwing bad weather at me.

So if the rain could please stop (in both the literal and metaphorical sense) then I can start building my Giants.

I have to say I am very genuinely impressed with the performance of the Bluecoat today. They did so well and I left as one should always leave a gallery/ arts centre: brimming with inspiration, drive and gusto.