Since I last posted in here, I’ve become more and more disenchanted with the art world, and I tend not to think of myself as an artist any more.
People say I am, they even say I’m a good artist. I’m sure that if I sit and draw, the creations that come out of it are interesting, that my degree taught me how to realise concepts, etc.
But I came to a point where the meaning of being a “good artist” means “some poor fool that has a talent to be exploited, and is expected somehow to be able to stop those exploiting them”.
I worked on several proposals, none of which were successful. This is the thing. I have a 100% failure rate. The last one, for Derby Museums, said that my proposal was strong, to keep in touch…
So I now consider myself a redundant artist. I went to University, got myself a good degree, but my career has not been supported, and I’ve been failed by everyone that should’ve supported me.
Instead, I’m frequently told that to expect to be paid is to “expect the moon”, while I go to events such as Beacon, and watch as other artists talk about how they thought of something to do, applied for a grant and then went and did it, while I think of things to do, apply for grants and am not able to do anything. I have failed.
But more than anything, I have been failed.
I have somehow got involved in a KTP with University, which requires 12 hours of my time. This is with the UoL Technology Hub, where I will be looking into the use of 3D printing. There is hopefully some funding available, but I’m not holding my breath at this stage.
2015 has the potential for everyone to finally get up and take a stand against the cuts and austerity, which should’ve happened 5 years ago, or for the final nail in the coffin for my career.
And I’ve been invited to an alumni event to offer career advice to current students. Not sure if I have anything positive to say other then to join the revolution!
